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[personal profile] recessional is hosting a Downswing party. Go and vent what's making you upset, vent about your mood disorders (or other disorders), post happy making stuff, get it out if you need to.

I can honestly say that this post kept me hanging on through a very tough day (depression/anxiety wise) yesterday and is helping me today, too.

ZOMG!

Jan. 16th, 2012 11:03 am
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I just checked my inbox! The awesome and so generous [profile] firefoxfey just bought me 35 DW points. ZOMG!

Thank you, kind soul. Thank you so much!
Shakespeared! Don't be afraid to talk Elizabethan, or Kimberlian, or Meredithian!
Author Jim C. Hines replicates poses from fantasy book covers. Proof that you CAN laugh and cry from utter joy at the same time.

Oh god, it's like finally someone understand why I hate those covers so much and gets why they're utterly ridiculous.

New layout!

Jan. 5th, 2012 11:12 am
A pair of brown glasses on a worn wooden table with a shadowed white wall in the background.
Let me know if anything looks weird in the browser you're using or if something is not accessible anymore or things like that. I sorta designed this layout (well, sorta). I mostly just tinkered and chopped away at the basic CSS for Tabula Rasa until it did what I wanted it to do.

You'll need to turn off all your modules except the navigation, unless you want to modify that as well. It may look funky if you don't.

And yes, you can borrow it if you like. And feel free to modify anything and everything. Credit would be super nice.

So, here it is. I call it "Flutterby" and it works with Tabula Rasa:

It looks like this (click for bigger view):



ETA: The problem with the navigation module has been fixed! Sorry for that!






So, let me know if there are any problems and I hope people will like this layout!
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1.

Other people have said this before, but I think it bears re-iterating.

The stereotype of the romantically mentally ill writer/artist who's so sad and tortured but creates great art because of that pain is absolute crap. After the last two months of my life in which I've dealt with the worst depression and anxiety I've ever had. And it didn't help me write. Insomnia and panic attacks and suicidal ideation made writing a lot harder, actually.

Having proper meds and getting enough sleep and being able to function helps me write. And frankly, as my depression got worse, so did my ability to even string a sentence together, much a cohesive story.

I'm doing better now, but I officially have zero tolerance for anyone who wants to talk shit to me about "artistic temperaments". Or for anyone who wants to make jokes about psychiatric medicines or about mental illness or about any of it.


2.

(Trigger warning for talk if mental health issues, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, self harming behaviors, eating disorders, and suicidal thoughts beneath the cut) )


3.


Now for something a bit happier! I wanted to send out my profound gratitude to all of you on my f-list here and LJ and various other places for speaking about your mental health issues: your meds, your doctors, your treatment, your good days and bad days, your trips to the hospital, your insurance woes. All of it.

For all the words you've written, whether it's public or under lock where a select few can see them, thank you. In a way, your words helped me. Knowing that I wasn't alone and that people do live and cope with these things helped. It helped to see that people I admire deeply and respect for their talent, kindness, humor, fierceness, righteousness, bravery, and general awesome had these issues, too, gave me hope that it wasn't a sentence to never be anything.

Thank you so much. I may not have commented on what you wrote, but I was reading. I did pay attention. Your words stayed with me and many of them specifically came back to me when I needed them.



4.


I need book recs! The holiday season left me bearing gift cards to places where books (electronic and paper) might be acquired and I definitely want to dive into some good things.

Especially fantasy, sci-fi, paranormal romance/urban fantasy written by authors of color (women and non-binary folks esp.), queer authors, and other such folks. I'm beginning to think I need a rule that says I won't read any paranormal romance/urban fantasy written by white women and published by a major publisher/press without three trusted sources first vetting it.

Why? Because the first book of 2012 is turning out to be disappointing. I thought it had promise, I really did. The guy who seemed like he'd be the love interest in the first chapter turned out to be the villain. When the villain begins stalking the heroine, she does all she can and it's made clear that stalking is wrong and creepy and evil! When someone implies it's her fault because she had coffee with the guy, she doesn't take that shit at all! The two main characters don't immediately fall into instant lust and want to fuck each other and mystically bond, they start out as distant acquaintances!

But then the fail started coming in. Describing a character as "East Asian in a dreamy way" (as opposed to the icky kind of East Asian?) and having the main male character get snarly at a bunch of cops for hitting on the main female after the stalker-villain destroys everything she owns, but then insisting she stay with him until she gets on her feet and mentally undressing her all the while.

I'm not sure I'm going to finish this book, hence the need for recs!

Oh, and any really great biographies/histories of non-white/non-European people or subjects would be great. Especially if they're written by non-white/non-European authors.


5.


I kind of want to start a discussion about self publishing and e-books, especially from the side of readers. How much do people out there read self-published books and ebooks? Where do you get them from, how do you find them, what appeals to you? Is the quality better, worse, the same as traditionally published material?

So, chime in if you like to let me know. How often do you read self-published vs. traditonally published books? Ebooks vs. paper books?

I've been meaning to ask these questions for a while, but well. See numbers 1-3 for reasons why.
A vertical stack of books, spines facing out leaning against a horizontal stack of books.
I know I haven't been around much in the last part of 2011. That's due to a lot of things, including some mental health issues that I'll talk about some time, but not now.

For now, it's time for the annual "how many and what kind of books did Meg read?" total. I didn't get as many read as I wanted to this year (I aim for 50 every year, haven't gotten there yet). But here it is:



Reading Stats
Books Attempted: 28
Books Completed: 24
Average Time to Read A Book: 10 days
Most Read Author: Alison Weir
Longest Book Read: The Broken Crown - Michelle West
Shortest Book Read: Sex With Kings - Eleanor Herman
PoC Authors Read: 14
Female Authors Read: 21
GLBT Authors Read: 1 for sure, but probably more


Genres:
History/Biography: 6
Science Fiction: 5
Urban Fantasy/Paranormal Romance: 9
Fantasy: 2
Mainstream/General Fiction: 1
Non-Fiction: 1


5 Favorite Books I Read In 2011:

5. Eleanor of Aquitaine by Alison Weir - A really wonderful and impeccably researched (as always) biography done by Alison Weir who has a talent for well balanced and carefully considered histories. Not only is Eleanor herself a fascinating subject for study, but the ways in which Weir makes sure to frame the history to show that even if she wasn't given credit for the things she accomplished or help accomplished, she certainly deserved it. I want to give this book to anyone who thinks women somehow become useless after 40. This woman rocked Europe well into her seventies.

4. The Broken Kingdoms by NK Jemisin - I love Jemisin's writing, I love how she's taken the fantasy genre into a new direction and I love that she gets characters so right. She understands how to build drama and delicious chemistry between her characters, both in love and conflict. A compelling and sympathetic narrator and impressive worldbuilding made this a book that set the bar high for books I read in 2011.

3. Four Queens by Nancy Goldstone - I simply devoured this history, partly because it's something I never got taught even in classes focusing on European history in that period and partly because Goldstone knows how to infuse her histories with a sense of humor and a human warmth in the writing. The book very much reads like a very smart, witty friend teaching you history. The topic of the four sisters from one family who all eventually gained the title of "queen" (of England, France, the Romans [which is actually Germany] and Sicily respectively) is complex and fascinating, but even though there are a lot of intersecting lines and things to keep straight, the author painted riveting portraits of the women who shaped Europe and both the high and low points of their royal lives.

2. The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy - This is one of those books that when a writer reads it, they go into a spiral of "why bother, I could never be better than this!". The God of Small Things is as close to a perfect novel as I think it's possible for a human being to write. Lyrical, wrenching, multilayered, heartbreaking, searing and whimsical by turns, it lays out a story that is both microscopic and epic in scope. Each time I left this book, I found myself surprised to be back home instead of there with Estha and Rahel and all the others.

1. Midnight Robber by Nalo Hopkinson - It's no secret I love Hopkinson as an author. So when I scored this book in a bookstore by total accident, I was over the moon. And deservedly so. This book is sheer magic and everything that science fiction can be and should be, as far as I'm concerned. A story about all stories and their power, an exploration of a world where human and person aren't the same thing, a tale of just one young woman and of an entire world at the same time, it sings and whispers and bellows out beautiful things while being a damn good read and a very solid science-fiction novel that explores a lot of what the mainstream tech-obsessed canon in this genre neglects as being unimportant.



5 Least Favorite Books I Read in 2011:

5. Kingmaker by Maurice Broaddus - I wanted to like this novel badly and it isn't necessarily a horrible book or terribly written. There are a lot of deeply impressive elements. The worldbuilding, the marriage of mythology to a thoroughly believable modern setting and the interpretation of the King Arthur story in a way that sets aside the Disneyfied versions and gets to a truth. However, the plot, structure and pacing of the story were a hot mess. The real plot doesn't begin until halfway through, lots of threads are left hanging in ways that I'm not sure were deliberate, and while many of the scenes and characters were fascinating, their importance to the plot seemed flimsy at best.

4. Kiss of Snow by Nalini Singh - I liked this much less than Singh's Guild Hunter novels. By an order of magnitude, really. The writing felt like it came straight off the Paranormal Fantasy Template and while the worldbuilding was uniquely Singh's, the writing could've come from any paranormal romance with a half naked guy on the cover. The romance isn't even romance, the entire society is problematic as hell and there are so many misogynistic alpha male shenanigans here that I debated not finishing. The sex honestly bored me. The best I can say about it is that it was at least paced logically and I didn't need to read any of the other books in the series.

3. Kiss of Crimson by Lara Adrian - The misogyny and creepiness just drip off of this book. An entire species that has no women in it, because The Breed can only be men. Women are "Breedmates" only and though they have powers of their own. Those names alone had me ready to check out and forget this book. I wish I had. While Breedmates have powers of their own, they don't get to do much. they tend to just sit around needing saving and being mystically bonded to guys. The Breed even has their misogyny enshrined in law. Breed men are permitted by law to order around Breedmates they're related to! Even the relative uniqueness of the vampires-as-alien hybrids couldn't save this book. At ever chance, the book takes the most predictable and boring path when so many interesting ones are available. The characters might as well be cut and pasted from other books, minus any trace of real personality or presence.

2. Gideon by Jacquelyn Frank - I rooted for the villains and wanted to set the heroes on fire. The book appropriates Jewish names/theology for Celtic-based demons for no reason I could discern. I've never read such weak and terrible writing. The dialogue was so stiff you could've ironed your shirt and the book meandered between couples, not even focusing fully on the main characters (not that there was anything to miss out on). The romances here are bland and sometimes worrying. The relationship between Jacob and Bella (yes, I laughed hard) goes down the checklist of things abusers do to control their partners. Throw in the constant misogyny and "women should leave politics and fighting to the men" nonsense and you have a recipe for disaster.

1. Seduced by Shadows by Jessa Slade - Where do I start? Problematic and appropriative as all hell, it not only abuses the Jewish religion, but doesn't even do it well. The entire world is based on a writer using the concept of teshuva wrongly and for no reason. As a side dish, there's Islamobigotry because the villains are all djinn while the angels are all Christian. The characters drip with self-pity and whine about their souls and salvation a lot. There wasn't even really a romance here. The hero's past owning of enslaved people on a plantation is handled atrociously and the heroine starting the book with a disability isn't done much better. For those reasons, the book landed dead last on this list.
A pair of brown glasses on a worn wooden table with a shadowed white wall in the background.
Yes, it's the beginning of NaNoWriMo all over again. It comes but once a year, so enjoy it this year (if you're participating).

If you want to add me as a writing buddy on the NaNoWriMo site: you may find me here.

I have no idea what the heck I'm going to be writing about except that it involves space and space! princesses! And more space! Anything more than that I'll pulling out of my....er, um...brain. Yes, that's it. My brain.

Whether you're writing a novel you hope to get published, just getting some words out, or writing the Great Fannish Novel, I salute you and I'll be cheering you on whenever I look up from the keyboard.

So, have fun and remember: as long as you write, you win. Everything else after that is just gravy. Or icing. Or a fruity topping of your choice.
A vertical stack of books, spines facing out leaning against a horizontal stack of books.
In my ever optimistic quest for a perfect, or at least better paranormal romance/urban fantasy I ran across a short story that was the beginning point for a paranormal romance series.

Being the naive little optimist I am, I dived in. And what did I discover? The heroine of the piece was the Goddess of Oppression, Kadence. (I'm not making a single bit of this up).

Kadence is a gorgeous white woman with long flowing blonde locks, more beautiful than Aphrodite herself (this is literally said), who has the power to take people's free will away from them and make them do what she wants but never seems to think that maybe this power is something she ought to work on CONTROLLING rather than feeling sad that she's stuck in the underworld where she can't suck the life out of people. And her great heroic act is to buy the love of her life from the devil. Yes. Because buying people without their consent and not telling them about it until 3/4ths through the story is a completely an okay thing to do that should make the reader think you're an inherently angelic person.

The Goddess of Oppression, y'all. *nods*.

I read the entire thing, but I did not keep a straight face at all. Because there's just too much unintentional truthiness and irony (in the layman's sense) and all the rest. I just wanted to ask if someone, somewhere was even aware that but for a change in the tone of the piece and a few edits here and there, it could've been the most brilliant satire ever and a scathing, hilarious commentary on the genre.

I think I've officially been broken of my optimism. Anybody have any paranormal romance recs that will restore my faith? Anyone?
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1. Something awesome: [personal profile] ephemere is taking preorders for a book of calligraphy and art entitled Kandila. If you've ever seen the breath taking work that she's posted before, then you already know that this is definitely a worthy addition to any library. Plus, the more you pay, the more extras you get. The basic package starts out at $25US, which I think is more than reasonable for something this beautiful and obviously made with great talent, love, and dedication.


2. Re: The #YesGayinYA thing, [personal profile] deepad has a really, really great post asking for critiques of the books on the list here in her post: "In which I am derailing and contrary and also unsupportive of the Market".

A lot of what she says were things that were really front and center in my mind when I compiling the books for the #buyabiggaynovelforscottcardday list from Twitter and comments. And things that I think are essential to this conversation. And other conversations, frankly. Especially about the US-centrism of the discussion, and about the work that goes into critiques and reviews of books.

I also highly recommend you check out: this post about it from [personal profile] colorblue, who says:

More often than not, I find representation unaccompanied by critical analysis (that takes into account underlying hierarchies) worse than the alternative. The representation of minorities that most often gets past gatekeepers is the representation least challenging and most flattering to the status quo, and I don't see how this will change if it isn't even acknowledged.

And, on a personal note: I'd rather not see myself represented at all than see myself represented in that fashion by major publishing houses, because it hits too close to home, leaves me in the most awful headspace. That said, I've always had access to stories about people somewhat like me, and my privileges have ensured that there are quite a few stories like this (outside the big name US publishers, that is).


The fact is that we don't need to create a glut of literature that is rubber stamped by the establishment and then act like we've done a favor to either GLBT+ youth or the world in general.

Thus, I urge anyone who was checking the Big Gay Book List for recs to immediately head over to deepad's entry and look at the comments and see what people (especially people who are talking from their lived experiences and actual identities) are saying about books that you might think are good - but remaining willfully unaware helps nothing.
Beast, from Beauty & The Beast looking coiffed and unhappy.
So, the agency that was being referred to in the article that started #YesGayYA has said that the authors (Sherwood Smith and Rachel Manija Brown) were lying about their article and that (direct quote): "these authors have exploited the topic."

I've read both, and while I can't know the precise words said in these conversations, I can say that I'm more than a little suspicious and unconvinced by anyone who's defense is this statement:

Our second bit of editorial feedback was that at least two POVs, possibly three, needed to be cut. Did one of these POVs include the gay character in question? Yes. Is it because he was gay? No. It’s because we felt there were too many POVs that didn’t contribute to the actual plot.


The thing is, it's not enough to say "oh, but we also wanted these straight characters reduced/cut out/etc" and then think that it's enough. Because it feels a lot like the intention argument and the "but I did this to a [insert privileged group] person, too!" arguments I am beyond weary of.

There was a damn good point made, and it's obviously been missed.

In which I alternate between analysis and rage on the issue. )

ETA: For the sake of accuracy and fairness, it should be noted (as is stated here) that the agent who made the defensive post, Joanna Stampfel-Volpe, is not the agent in question who had the discussion with authors Sherwood and Brown. Rather, Joanna Stampfel-Volpe was merely an agent speaking on behalf of the agency.
Dualla from BSG. Dualla > EVERYONE ELSE.
Authors Say Agents Try to “Straighten” Gay Characters in YA by Rachel Manija Brown and Sherwood Smith.

You need to read all the words in this, and you need to think very carefully about it. Especially if you work with or want to work with the big names in the U.S. publishing industry.

The money quote?

The overwhelming white straightness of the YA sf and fantasy sections may have little to do with what authors are writing, or even with what editors accept. Perhaps solid manuscripts with LGBTQ protagonists rarely get into mainstream editors’ hands at all, because they are been rejected by agents before the editors see them. How many published novels with a straight white heroine and a lesbian or black or disabled best friend once had those roles reversed, before an agent demanded a change?

This does not make for better novels. Nor does it make for a better world.

Let’s make a better world.



I have no doubt (and by no doubt, I mean I've heard the stories) of the same happening in adult genres as well in the NYC-centric U.S. publishing industry.

This is what I mean when I get angry about what's on the shelves, when I talk about the lack of diversity in the genres of fiction that I read. This is also why I get really furious in discussions about agents and submissions when agents want to claim that it is "just business" and don't want to have the discussions about how they, as a group, are engaging in these shenanigans either by asking people to straight/whiten/etc their characters or just by rejecting things out of hand.

This is why I laugh when people pretend like editors and agents are always acting as benevolent gatekeepers who only let the best manuscripts get through, and that people who don't get published obviously just weren't good enough. This is why my opinion and the way I look at self-published works has really changed in the last few years.

This is why I can open a book and see certain specific genre agents' names in the acknowledgements and know better than to bother because I can actually, physically track the books that I've hated, the books that have been chock full of racist, sexist, queer hating ickiness and see that a lot of those books were all handled by the same agent.

This is part of the reason why I've very much stopped believing that getting a mainstream publishing contract is actually even anything to strive for and have largely shelved the idea that my writing career should center around such hopes.

Because in the last few years, I've really had my eyes opened to the fact that it doesn't just take a good book to get a deal and some sales - because things aren't that fair. Because there are a lot of people - agents, editors, etc - who are literally weeding out diversity because they only care about straight, white readers, who don't think that the queer/POC/disabled/etc reader even count.

If you ever wondered why I'm perpetually angry, or why when people talk about e-book prices, book sales, and piracy that I feel like ripping furniture to shreds because there are so many layers of fuckery going on that it can never just be a simple case of anything - you know why now. Because of things like this.
Dualla from BSG. Dualla > EVERYONE ELSE.
Oh my god, it's like someone has finally heard my cries and gnashing of teeth: Women Fighters in Reasonable Armor.

I am now swooning. No ridiculous high heels! No chainmail bras! No unreasonably short leather halter tops! None of the things that have made me want to find the people who do cover art for fantasy books and throw implements of destruction at them

There's even helmets and real armor (although, to be fair, I'm dubious about how much armor any human being of any gender could reasonably carry without collapsing under the weight, but still!). And boots. Boots that you could walk in without damaging the skeleto-muscular structure of your entire lower body!.
Reading girl by Renoir.
The full explanation and situation can be found here at this link, but the basic story is that a person blogging about the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival (which has been noted for it's anti- trans women and "womyn born womyn" shenanigans before) has put up on their blog a hitlist of trans women.

Not just a list, but a list containing their legal names, photos, where they might be at the festival, and in some cases, places of employment. Everything a hateful stalker needs to hunt them down and hurt them. And none of them (so far as I or the original poster know) have consented to this.

In addition, Wordpress is refusing to stick to it's own terms of service when people have complained that revealing such private information without consent is an egregious violation. They are instead claiming that they're waiting until they get a court order to force the person to take down the information.

I just can. not. even right now. I am enraged at seeing fellow women - women who are among the most vulnerable of gender and sexual minorities - not only having their true genders denied by people who think that but for a vagina go we as women, but being put in a position where their chances of being attacked, beaten, raped, fired from their job, or otherwise harmed are increased. And by the by, those chances are already abysmally higher than cis women's chances.

So please, signal boost and make sure that Wordpress knows that this is not okay. That they don't get to decide to enforce the TOS only when they want to. Make sure that everyone knows that it is not okay to deny anyone's gender based on what they were assigned at birth, and that making hitlists and giving away private info is even less acceptable.
Shakespeared! Don't be afraid to talk Elizabethan, or Kimberlian, or Meredithian!
If you don't know, Orson Scott Card is a well known, long standing queer hater who thinks that gay folks should be locked away if they dare to show their horrible queerness in public. Recently he rewrote a very nasty, and hateful version of Hamlet which revolves around the idea that gay = evil.

But this is the internet and at least in my section of it, we don't hold with those kind of shenanigans from people who are (not to put too fine a point on it) howling bigoted douchemonkeys.

The response, at least on Twitter, was the #buyabiggaynovelforscottcardday hashtag in which people from all over threw in their recommendation for queer/LGBT+ novels, books, even short stories and comics and graphic novels that would put any reader on the top of OSC's "Evil Queer" List.

And being the person I am, I have tried to compile that list by following the hashtag.

A very long, dubiously complete but completely alphabetized list of recommendations from the #buyabiggaynovelforscottcardday hashtag )
A vertical stack of books, spines facing out leaning against a horizontal stack of books.
I had something of an illuminating experience at the Borders "going out of business" sale this weekend.

For those who don't know, Borders is (was) one of the major brick and mortar retailers here in the U.S. They've been fighting bankruptcy and financial woes for years, but it's finally caught up to them. They're going under and individual locations are going out like light bulbs.

Here have a link about it from the Wall Street Journal.

This is very bad for the employees who are losing jobs. I feel genuine and deep sympathy for them, especially with the way job markets are right now.

But as a person who buys books and is deeply interested in book retail and the publishing industry, it was something of an instructive experience.

Discussion of book buying habits, stores, economies and other things that might not be interesting. Also, very U.S.-centric, with my apologies! )
A pair of brown glasses on a worn wooden table with a shadowed white wall in the background.
1. Schoolbook by [personal profile] ephemere is razored, sharp, searing, and true.

2. Conservation of Shadows by Yoon Ha Lee. Everything I've come to expect from this writer who is always lyrical, definitely surprising, never fails to be heartbreaking, and captivates me fully. This story is SO EXCELLENT.

3. I don't post advice from agent/slush reader types on writing much anymore because I think as a writer you can read too much of such things. It can convince you that writing is only good if it is saleable (false) and that good writing and good marketing potential are the same thing (also false).

Not to mention that I believe any writing advice is limited in its helpfulness because writing is such an individual thing, and that goes double for advice coming from people who are not speaking as writers to begin with.

That said, sometimes that advice is helpful, even if you're not looking to sell a single word of what you come up with.

So, this bit of advice about "why should I care" is really great.

Bonus points for advice that focuses on the constructively critiquing the writing rather than berating writers or calling them "psycho" or "insane" or "crazy" if they did get something wrong.


4. The Jacksonville Library is still sending me emails. I don't have the heart to try to unsubscribe and tell them that they were TWO CITIES ago, because frankly, Jacksonville had one of the better library systems I've seen. I'm hoping that one of two of the Charlotte branches will live up to the high standard they set.

I try not to be too much of a library snob, because I know that a lot of the problem is money and it's way, way beyond the control of the people who run these places. But still.

When the main branch of your city's library has a smaller SF/F section than you do at home? Something has gone awry. Terribly, terribly awry. And that something is called cutbacks.


5. NK Jemisin is looking for post-colonial SF/F And I am eagerly watching comments to see what recommendations are getting handed out, because that's something I, as well, am always on the look out for to add either to the "buy when as soon as possible" or "to be read" list depending on how easily I can get my hands on it.
Dualla from BSG. Dualla > EVERYONE ELSE.
I know I'm late to this party, but N.K. Jemisin, in her unending awesome, says what I've always wanted to say, but says it much better in her post The Limitations of Womanhood in Fantasy.

I'm tempted to quote the whole thing, but that's not cool or ethical to do, so I'll try to quote the most relevant part. Note: All the parts are relevant.

By the same token, readers need to stop embracing only superficial examples of strength in women. We need more than ice queens, or femme fatales, or feisty gun-toting redheads juggling harems of men, or mighty-thewed chainmail bra-wearing Conanettes....

I want to see female characters who are judged strong based on their choices, their determination, and their refusal to be limited by what others think — not what they look like or do for a living/hobby.



Yes, thank you N.K. Jemisin. Thank you for that. I could not be more right if it tried. I just want to hug that entire post and tell everyone about it.

Especially as it relates to the reasons why I am so frustrated, fed up, and enraged at a lot of the urban fantasy and paranormal genres. Genres which do not lack for women writers and readers, and yet? It seems like we keep falling into the same patterns outlined above.

Want an example. I just put down a book which starts out with our half-vamp heroine going to question a vampire who has killed his two servants for attempting to steal from him. That is, until she finds out that he sired her vampire ex-boyfriend who she is relentlessly pining over. Against said ex-boyfriend's will. At which point, knowing that he murdered these two human beings, she decides to let him go. Because she's sentimental.

This is exactly what Jemisin is talking about. This protagonist the very walking definition of the fiesty redhead. Though she has knives instead of guns. Point of interest: she actually throws five knives at once during the opening scene. Five. Because that totally convinces me that this is a believable scene in which I should invest as a reader rather than something that's just for show. Which, if I wasn't eye rolling enough because of it's over the top nature really got me giggling at the book and not in the way intended.

All that physical prowess contained in a person who apparently can't see past herself or her romantic entanglements enough and lacks the moral (or practical) compass to see that letting a murderous vampire go for "sentimental" reasons is a seriously weak action to take, and that any further kills that he makes will be on her head as well since she had the chance to stop him and didn't take it. Furthermore, it isn't clear that her ex-boyfriend wouldn't want to kill the bastard anyway.

Thus, you have a protagonist who throws five knives but then orders wine instead of a gin and tonic on a date (because apparently wine makes a better impression or something? Hell if I know!), who abuses her position with little consideration, because her strength seems to be entirely external and supernatural, not innate and internal.

I put that book down, because I'm aware of all the skewed visions of women out there in the world. I don't need to spend another 300 pages stuffing my brain with another portrait of an essentially empty character, as though conventional good looks (to say nothing of how holding up white/thin/able/cis/unscarred characters reinforces so many ugly cultural norms) and some weaponry and some fancy trappings and maybe a sexually charged but otherwise emotionally void romance with the Alpha Male are equal (or better) to a woman's inner self and inner strength.

It's almost as if it's a way of saying that women are so unimportant, so unequal, so utterly unworthy of close consideration that it doesn't matter you replace a conscience, an inner strength, an emotional fortitude with decorative trappings, with show pieces. It's all the same. Because the strength of women - the strength that doesn't come from physical power but from the will to use our agency in ways that change the world, ways small and silent sometimes, ways that come from just existing as ourselves in the face of a world that wants us obedient - just isn't worth writing about.

I don't know about you, but I disagree in the strongest possible terms. I think that exact thing is exactly what's most worth writing about.
A pair of brown glasses on a worn wooden table with a shadowed white wall in the background.
1. We're in a state that I'd call "mostly settled" here in North Carolina. I say this because I've finally got all my books in the house and mostly accessible to me. I think it should say something that I was more worried about my books than most of my other things.

2. I've got a bunch of reviews to post, since two weeks and change of limited internet access gave me a lot of time to read. I'll get around to them eventually, but don't be surprised if you see review spam sometime soon.

3. For your geekish glee: Neil DeGrasse Tyson interviews Nichelle Nichols. This is relevant to all interests ever. Neil DeGrasse Tyson, people. My favorite real life geek ever. And Nichelle Nichols. I mean, really, do I even need to educate you about Uhura? Because I will. I will tell you all about Uhura.

4. To get the pot stirring again, I thought I'd try something called "True Writer Confessions", in which I confess some things which aren't really all that secret or guilty or anything, but are fun nonetheless.

- I hate Shakespeare. I cannot stand to read or see performed things by Shakespeare, and if I had to pick the most overglorified, overhyped body of work in the English language, I would pick all of Shakespeare's works. This is probably partly because I had a lot of him rammed down my throat in high school. People have made lots of comments why he was a genius over the centuries, but frankly? He bores me, the plays aren't that spectacular plot wise, and the language is either incomprehensible, dense, or lip-curl inducing to me.

- I can't name characters the same thing as people I'm close to. I don't know why, but it weirds me out to name a character, even a minor character, after a relative or close friend. And since my family has rather common names for the most part, that means I have to be creative. I think it goes back to the fear that someone will think I am secretly writing about them and get angry at me, or think that it means something. For instance, if I write a romance where one of the people shares a name with someone I know, that person will think it means I'm secretly in love with them.

- I don't understand writers who don't like fanfic of their works. I try to respect the position, since I know coming from fandom means I'm biased. Still doesn't mean I understand it or like it. For me, it's like disdaining when people throw roses and pearls and money at your feet. Sure, some of those roses are badly written, full of purple prose, and make you wonder if you and the fan writer were even reading the same text. But, come on, they're giving you free advertising and admiration. It's not like they can claim it for their own (the simple act of telling what "fandom" you're working in means the original must be credited!), and no amount of fanfic ever changes even a single comma placement in the original work. People have been writing oodles of Tolkien fanfic, for instance, and Lord of the Rings is still the same as it was in 1954. So the "creative control" idea is lost on me.

Furthermore, I'm suspicious of people who seem not to mind if folks write non-fictional things about their works (ie - papers, reviews, theses, etc) or if they chatter away non-fictionally in discussions about what could, should, and would have happened, what they want to happen, what they think of the books. But if they put those ideas into fictional form, suddenly it's a terrible affront to the writer and "stealing".

I won't get into the writers who's positions seem to be "as long as you don't write slash with my characters". That's a whole other can of worms, because I don't think "ewww, gross, no buttsex!" is a particularly valid position. Suffice to say, I would love one day to find that people are (with full credit) writing fanfics based on my works, and if those fanfics are pure porn and nothing but buttsex, I will smile all the more.

- I don't get the seat-of-your-pants vs. planning thing. I've seen so many interviews with authors asking if they "pants it" or plan. I never got why those things are mutually exclusive or why that seems to be the only two methods. As a writer, I use a mix. Sometimes I plan parts of a story and leave others to chance. Sometimes bits are neither really planned but not really spontaneous, either. It depends on the project. I guess I don't like the idea that there's a dichotomy to writing, when really, there's very little that's consistent from writer to writer. Everyone's different, wildly so.

- I can't write sex scenes if I'm in a romantic/sexy mood myself. I don't know if this makes me weird or normal, but the minute I start writing a sex scene, the frisky goes away and my analytical brain turns on. For me, the scenes are not all that different from action scenes, because I'm more focused on getting emotional, physical, and practical details right than anything. Also, I try very hard to keep track of what and who is going where, otherwise I'll end up with a scene that doesn't work unless someone has three legs or two mouths or a spine made entirely of rubber and flexi-straws.

- I refuse to write banter during fight scenes. I take violence seriously, even fantasy violence, because I think it's one of those things that is truly serious business and I'm more than a little uncomfortable with how beautified and romanticized it often is. The reality? Getting hit hurts, it can injure you. The right hit at the right time with the right force can permanently disable or kill you. The act of hitting hurts, too, sometimes. And it takes a lot of energy and concentration. In fact, doing it so that you don't get killed takes pretty much all of it. Plus, every time someone takes the time/breath/brain power to wax wiseass during a scuffle, I keep wondering why their opponent hasn't used the opening to punch them in the mouth or something. I just can't write a scene where I truly am invested in making a fight real to my readers and then throw in something that makes it clear that it's really just for show, that it isn't a real danger to the protagonist. It makes the whole thing feel like a rigged game to me, so when the protagonist wins, it doesn't mean much.

- I can't name characters after people I know, because it feels creepy to me. Even if they have a very common first name, I just can't do it. I think it stems back to the fear that the person I know by that name will pick up my story and think I'm not-so-secretly writing about or to them. For instance, if I write a romance with a character sharing their name, they'll think it means I'm secretly in love with them. Which, yanno, eep!

So, do you have any secret writer (or reader) confessions you'd like to share? Comments are always open.

January 2012

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