megwrites: Reading girl by Renoir.  (Default)
megwrites ([personal profile] megwrites) wrote2009-09-29 07:45
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I have no clever nickname for this

There are a lot of straight people who are voicing some rather heated resentment of the change to the Lambda Literary Awards rules.

For the record, I identify as a bisexual, cisgendered female. Yes, I am marrying a cisgendered male in less than twelve days from now. No, I don't give a shit if you think this makes my bisexuality "legitimate" or not. We're not here to debate the erasure and denial of bisexuals. That's a whole other post.

What I'm here to say is that I'm really frustrated with so called "allies" who are upset about this, who think that this is about gay men vs. straight women and who has the "right" to pen m/m works. That's missing the point completely. Writing GLBT-themed/centric works does not carry the same level of risk, reward, or hardship for GLBT folks and straight people.

Even as a straight writer pens their GLBT-themed/centric work, they get to go home to their legally and socially sanctioned marriages (and yes, I acknowledge that I share in this privilege because my partner and I are of different genders) and their gender security and their knowledge that nobody is going to say that their sexuality is "just a phase" or "just experimentation." Nobody gets to vote on the legality of your marriage, Straight Writers. Nobody gets to choose whether they refer to you by the right pronoun, Cisgendered Writers.

So don't look the GLBT community in the eye and say that because our topics are the same, that we're all on equal footing. Our daily life experiences are very different, and I think those experiences deserve one tiny award of their own. I think we GLBT writers deserve one place where we don't have to compete against YOUR STRAIGHT, CISGENDERED PRIVILEGE. It's one award. It's not a statement that "straight women can never write m/m slash again!" Nobody is taking away your toys. It's not a universal declaration. It's ONE GODDAMN AWARD.

These writers who are objecting didn't mind being part of the GLBT scene when calling themselves allies added to their Liberal Street Cred, when it made them cool and different. But when it comes time to actually support the GLBT community and make one eensy, weensy little sacrifice? They just won't do it.

Ally does NOT mean "I am the same as you", it means "I support you". Sometimes support means sitting down, shutting up, and giving people some space. If you're not ready to accept that fact, if you need to have access to every single area, then you're not an ally. Quit calling yourself that and quit pretending - both to us and to yourselves - that you're here to support us.


*Just so we're clear, I'm talking to the people pitching a fit about this. If you're a straight writer of GLBT subject matter and you're not part of this fail, I'm not even talking in your general direction, so feel free to keep on keeping on.
elf: Another link in the chain (Linkspam)

[personal profile] elf 2009-09-29 14:57 (UTC)(link)
This post has been included in a Linkspam roundup.
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[identity profile] mmerriam.livejournal.com 2009-09-29 15:14 (UTC)(link)
Excellent post!
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[identity profile] ms-treesap.livejournal.com 2009-09-29 16:54 (UTC)(link)
Very true! hearts

[identity profile] handyhunter.livejournal.com 2009-09-29 23:44 (UTC)(link)
There sure are a lot of bingo cards that could be filled out, reading some of those posts/comments. Just when I didn't think people could fail more.

Ally does NOT mean "I am the same as you", it means "I support you". Sometimes support means sitting down, shutting up, and giving people some space. If you're not ready to accept that fact, if you need to have access to every single area, then you're not an ally. Quit calling yourself that and quit pretending - both to us and to yourselves - that you're here to support us.

Yes.

[identity profile] spoggly.livejournal.com 2009-09-30 18:18 (UTC)(link)
This is an A++++ post.