I feel bad that you had the experiences you've had. I was lucky, I guess. As a high schooler, I drew the D&D group that had the female DM and a nearly-equal number of males and females in it. We were all theatre geeks together anyway, so perhaps that had something to do with it. I never had to feel like a sex object, at least.

The first Star Wars movie came out the year I turned thirteen. I saw it multiple times, and while I would have appreciated it if there had been female fighter pilots and more female characters in general, I also noticed that not only was Leia a princess, she was also a Senator, entrusted with representing her entire planet in the halls of government. She was also a Rebel Alliance leader, if in secret, so she did indeed hold power and command. I went on to read various of the SW books, in which her character was given more depth than in the films, which I do think helped. But that year was also the year I first began to try writing SF myself, and including strong female characters and a lot of nonwhite characters, too. That just seemed to be my natural inclination.

Sometimes I think as much of what we take from a story depends reader/viewer perceptional choice as upon the intentions of the writer or filmmaker.