[Awesome post! I'm here via some link surfing. I hope you don't mind.]
I often think the difference between a stereotype and a three dimensional character is how much of the character detail is specific to that one character vs some trait that is supposed to signify one as "black" or "Chinese", etc. So, to me, it doesn't really matter that much if, say, a Chinese-American character is more traditional or more American -- but maybe it matters why he or she is this way, if there's a reason for it other than some vague idea of what "Chinese" is (details like where they grew up, how whitewashed/assimilated they are, what values their parents have and pass down, and so on). And I don't mean it has to be the main focus of the story either, but as you say in the original post, it likely would be something that informed their everyday choices and opinions.
Fwiw, from the example above re cooking differently for a (white) guest -- my family tends to do the opposite. My parents - and both of them cooked - would make Filipino or Chinese dishes if it was just us, and more American/Canadian foods if we had white guests. I'm not sure that it was ever a conscious decision on anyone's part, aside from wanting to fit in and not serve something unappetizing.
I'm also honestly not sure if "comfort food" is an American construct as well. Or maybe other people think of it differently? I have favourite foods (anything Japanese, pretty much, or ketchup chips, maple donuts, etc), but I'm not sure it's the same as a comfort food; I don't think we grew up with that idea at all. It was always, you eat what's in front of you, and if you're hungry in between meals, you eat the leftovers. It was strongly discouraged to cook, if there was still stuff in the fridge. Or maybe sushi is my comfort food...
Sort of related to this, being picky about food is a very Western thing, imo -- not that I'm not picky about some things too (or that there aren't POCs/Asian people who aren't very picky), like I won't eat carrots, but to not even try food that you(general) are unfamiliar with is simply Not Done in my family (I find I come across this more with white people?). But I acknowledge that we are rather obsessed with food. I think it stems from my grandparents and great-grandparents not always having enough to eat, so they're always pressing us to eat. It's standard greeting to ask "Have you eaten yet" rather than "How are you" for us, when we're with my grandparents (my generation has moved away from that quite a bit). It always throws me off too when someone asks "how do you say 'hello' in Chinese?" because as far as I know, there isn't a word for it (also, I don't speak Mandarin or Cantonese).
Re: eating from your culture
I often think the difference between a stereotype and a three dimensional character is how much of the character detail is specific to that one character vs some trait that is supposed to signify one as "black" or "Chinese", etc. So, to me, it doesn't really matter that much if, say, a Chinese-American character is more traditional or more American -- but maybe it matters why he or she is this way, if there's a reason for it other than some vague idea of what "Chinese" is (details like where they grew up, how whitewashed/assimilated they are, what values their parents have and pass down, and so on). And I don't mean it has to be the main focus of the story either, but as you say in the original post, it likely would be something that informed their everyday choices and opinions.
Fwiw, from the example above re cooking differently for a (white) guest -- my family tends to do the opposite. My parents - and both of them cooked - would make Filipino or Chinese dishes if it was just us, and more American/Canadian foods if we had white guests. I'm not sure that it was ever a conscious decision on anyone's part, aside from wanting to fit in and not serve something unappetizing.
I'm also honestly not sure if "comfort food" is an American construct as well. Or maybe other people think of it differently? I have favourite foods (anything Japanese, pretty much, or ketchup chips, maple donuts, etc), but I'm not sure it's the same as a comfort food; I don't think we grew up with that idea at all. It was always, you eat what's in front of you, and if you're hungry in between meals, you eat the leftovers. It was strongly discouraged to cook, if there was still stuff in the fridge. Or maybe sushi is my comfort food...
Sort of related to this, being picky about food is a very Western thing, imo -- not that I'm not picky about some things too (or that there aren't POCs/Asian people who aren't very picky), like I won't eat carrots, but to not even try food that you(general) are unfamiliar with is simply Not Done in my family (I find I come across this more with white people?). But I acknowledge that we are rather obsessed with food. I think it stems from my grandparents and great-grandparents not always having enough to eat, so they're always pressing us to eat. It's standard greeting to ask "Have you eaten yet" rather than "How are you" for us, when we're with my grandparents (my generation has moved away from that quite a bit). It always throws me off too when someone asks "how do you say 'hello' in Chinese?" because as far as I know, there isn't a word for it (also, I don't speak Mandarin or Cantonese).
/rambling