Ah, I've had a close variant of this thrown at me once in real life (and only once, because that was the only time I dared speak up to that person): being told that writing things about race on the internet is "not the way to deal with the problem of racism", but face-to-face communication is. The goal posts are ever-shifting! Not everyone has the privilege of remaining safe or having the ability to carry out a certain course of action.

Thank you for dissecting this sort of derailing comment; it's made me feel clearer in my head about it, and moreover for pointing out the ableist aspects of it as well. (I hope you don't mind that I'm subscribing, as I've certainly appreciated some of your past posts.)