How to Lose Friends and Make People Laugh

So, truepenny was pickin' up what matociquala was throwin' down. So I decided to mosey on over and smell what the Rock was cookin'.

And it smelled of the hot, savory scent of public self-humiliation.

So I had to get me a piece of that, yo.

(Today's theme, if you haven't guessed it is: humiliating yourself in public)

Therefore, I will attempt to make the Earth swallow me whole by recounting for you the first things I ever wrote.

( but I will do it behind a cut tag, because I'm cool like that )

There. Now that that's done, I'd like for my f-list to get in on the embarassment.

How'd you get into writing and what were the first things you wrote? Exerpts or summaries.