Sep. 10th, 2008

megwrites: Reading girl by Renoir.  (Default)
One thing I have discovered about myself as a reader is that there are somethings writers do that I just hate.

Particularly, I really dislike when writers begin their book by describing something about the scenery (not setting), like rain falling on trees or a cityscape or a small action a character is doing, something like that. I realize that such passages are the literary equivalent of beginning shots of a movie in which we see some sort of non-important, scene setting shots over which the credits are shown.

At least in a movie it's a visual experience, there's music, a sense of anticipation and a chance for me to arrange my drink and popcorn.

In a book, it just pisses me off and makes me want to walk away.

I much prefer writers who just go right into the action, and skip right to the first important bit that I need to know.

But for the love of all that's good and crusty in the world, do not spend half a page basically telling me that it was a dark and stormy night and then tell me that there's been a murder. Please, just give me the corpse upfront. Because corpses, while morbid and tragic, are interesting.

When I pick a book, I'm coming to it fresh. I don't know about the characters, the world, the plot, I certainly don't care about them yet. If you want me to care, give me something give-a-damnworthy ASAP. If you could do it with your first line, that would be even better.

Reading about the rain is unbearably boring unless the writer is a talented creator of haikus or the reader has pharmaceutical assistance. Especially when you describe it at length trying to set a mood that would be better set by someone saying something or doing something that is interesting.

Unless the surroundings are so extraordinary as to be interesting in and of themselves, it's best to leave off waxing on about them right off the bat. And by interesting, there had better be bright orange elephants flying about and trees made of nail polish and acrimony.

Life is short and I just do not have the patience to waste time waiting for a writer to tell me what I'm looking at.

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