megwrites | Serious writer stuff.

fashionista_35 has some very interesting things to say about writing "the book of your heart" as opposed to just writing "what sells" and self-censorship.

I have to confess that I agree with the principle, but I sort of hate the phrase. I agree that you can't just write something on the sole basis that it'll sell.

Writing something just for commercial purposes and writing it because it's "the book of your heart" is like the difference between having a one-off with a cheap hooker in your car and making passionate love to the partner of your dreams. Or, if you're not into the sexual metaphors, microwaving a TV dinner and taking the time to cook a gourmet meal.

In either case, the latter is infinitely more satisfying and meaningful than the former.

But I don't like the idea of the phrase "the book of your heart" for two reasons.

1. The word "heart" is completely deceptive and oversimplifying the issue. When we say "heart", people think of raw feelings and emotions. I think that may be what some people are reacting to when they oppose the phrase.

But it's not just about writing your feelings, but a level of authorial honesty. It's about coming to the table because you actually give a crap about what's being served for dinner. About having a justification for asking for someone's time and attention that you can give with a straight face.

It's about not writing write what's easy, what's throw away, what's just a cheap. Writing the "book of your heart" is actually about being brave and dedicated enough to put in the mental, emotional effort. Writing for sheer commercial purposes is like serving someone reheated leftovers when they came to a five star restaurant and then expecting them to pay top dollar for it. It's insulting and a waste of everyone's time, especially yours.

2. My ~~spider sense tingles~~ red flags go up, because some writers will take the phrase to mean they never need to edit or check themselves, that so long as it feels good to them, it's enough.

The human heart, both literally and metaphorically, can be ugly. We don't just keep the warm fuzzy feelings in there. We also (metaphorically) we keep our -isms there, our racism, sexism, ablism, and all the others. Our heart is the home of our hatred, our pettiness, our prejudices. I think it behooves any writer to be acutely aware of this.

fashionista_35 cited the example of a friend, Alyssa Day, who was told that she used too many prime numbers in her books. And yes, I think that is beyond the pale. There's nothing a writer can do about that. It's part of the inherent risk that both reader and writer take when they pick up books.

But - again, I have 'but' face! - there's also a point where criticisms become valid. When a reader says, "this thing you wrote hurt me, treated me less human, disrespected me, added to my pain and lack", I think the author has some obligation to really consider it. Maybe not to accept it, but to put down the defenses and consider it.

I see authors who respond to those kinds of criticisms with, "Well, I'm the author, I can do what I want!" or a whole mess of irrelevant, point-missing TL;DR. I don't believe that kind of response is appropriate in the face of someone telling you your book - yes, the book of your heart - did something hurtful.

If I ever get published, I hope that someone will let me know if I do something hurtful like that, if I've been racist or sexist or homophobic or (insert prejudice that I inevitably do have). More than that, I hope I will have the good sense, decency, and grace to accept that criticism, to take it to heart and let it impact the books that follow.

In the end, I think it comes down to this. Writing, like life, is complicated. No phrase, or witticism, or piece of advice is one size fits all - but I do think that in writing, it's important that whatever you're doing, you care deeply about it. As deeply as you want your readers to care.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I agree with the comment that

cericonversion made to you, just so you know.

And I'm very uncomfortable with you using the term the "Whining of Victims" and "emotional blackmail" when talking about this topic, and I think it's unfair to say that someone who speaks out against literature that is hurtful to them is somehow being abusive or irresponsible. Asking for them to change hurtful behaviors is not passive aggressive. I don't think you really understand what the term means, either.

Saying that someone ought to be responsible for their own feelings when many of those feelings are evoked by - for instance - endemic racism, sexism, and homophobia (to name a few prejudices) in literature and media that surround them and have affected their daily reality is like telling someone who's been punched in the face to be responsible for their own pain.

The "fuck you" response really is what's passive-aggressive and whining. The belittlement of what others are telling you about their experiences shows that, actually, it seems that you're making this about your hurt feelings rather than about your art.

Edited 2009-08-31 02:51 (UTC)

Yes, LJ can be annoying like that. I put any major post/comment into a desk top file first just in case LJ is hungry.

I agree with the comment that cericonversion made to you, just so you know.

I suspect you might be. =)

And I'm very uncomfortable with you using the term the "Whining of Victims" and "emotional blackmail" when talking about this topic, and I think it's unfair to say that someone who speaks out against literature that is hurtful to them is somehow being abusive or irresponsible. Asking for them to change hurtful behaviors is not passive aggressive. I don't think you really understand what the term means, either.

I have earned the right to say such things and am fully aware of what they mean. You can review my bona fides here (http://nebris.livejournal.com/161805.html). Warning, it is very triggering material.

I've been in Al-Anon and AA for over two decades and I am also a trained psychotherapist, so I also know a few things beyond my own personal damage. Note that I could get all offended at you for 'not reading my mind' before you dismissed my 'feelings'.

What I speak of here is the Victim as Victimizer, the person who feels that since they have been brutalized in some genuinely awful way, they now have Carte Blanch to abuse others, usually through some “Your Words and Feelings Make Me Hurt” paradigm and whether or not said 'words and feelings' had anything to do with them at all.

I have seen this pattern so many many times. And seen so many people allow themselves to be guilted and shamed by these types of individuals, who are “not taking responsibility for their own feelings”. They are NOT responsibly for what was done to them, but they ARE responsible for how they deal with that.

Given that paradigm, if I write something fictional that specifically attacks you, well, yeah, I am responsible for hurting you.

But if write something, no matter how hateful or offensive, that hurts, angers, and/or repulses you, no, I am not responsible for your 'feelings', no matter how much of a evil bastard I may be for what I wrote. You are free to tell me I'm an evil bastard, but your feelings are you own property.

These things are called Boundaries and they are the cornerstone of both mental health and good self esteem.

Saying that someone ought to be responsible for their own feelings when many of those feelings are evoked by - for instance - endemic racism, sexism, and homophobia (to name a few prejudices) in literature and media that surround them and have affected their daily reality is like telling someone who's been punched in the face to be responsible for their own pain.

Okay, first the socio-political. All that which you listed above are the markers for Class, the thing we supposedly do not have here in America. Please note that I am not responsible for it's existence, though I am doing my bit to expunge it from the face of the earth.

Second, in this context, the 'punch in the face' metaphor is a strawman and to that I say “Poot!” /smirk

Third, as I noted above, we may not be responsible for our pain and damage, but we most certainly are responsible for how we deal with it.

If you punch me in my face for no good reason – or for any ol' damned reason – and then I shoot you in yours, well, I will go to jail then, won't I? “But they hit me!!” don't cut it, ya know.

The "fuck you" response really is what's passive-aggressive and whining. The belittlement of what others are telling you about their experiences shows that, actually, it seems that you're making this about your hurt feelings rather than about your art.

The demand that I or any other writer of fiction be Obliged [aka required] to be emotionally responsible for the vast audience of strangers is not only belittling of us, but is a form of psychic bondage that I passionately reject. If you wish to take on shackles of that nature, that is your choice, but trying to impose such upon others is not only somewhat fascistic, but even smacks of grandiosity.

Goethe said, “If everyone swept in front of their own door, the whole world would be clean.” I politely suggest you reflect upon that.

~M~

1) You're derailing and thinking it's clever. It's not, just so you're concerned.

2) Your bona fides don't really mean anything in the context of this discussion and has the worrisome tone of "my pain trumps your pain". I'm sorry for whatever happened to you. It was tragic and horrible and shouldn't have happened.

But there is no such thing as earning the "right" to say, absolutely and for everyone, who's feelings are and are not valid. Especially don't think that because you think you have some kind of calling to Art that somehow you're exempt from considering what kind of pain and abuse your writing might be dealing out.

3) All that which you listed above are the markers for Class, the thing we supposedly do not have here in America.

What, are you Will Shetterly in disguise over there? I have no desire to do the "it's all about class, not race/gender/sexuality etc" dance with you because it's not productive and as far as I'm concerned, it's wrong.

I remember seeing pictures and stories about the signs above doors that would say "Whites Only" or "No Colored People Allowed". I just have never seen or heard of a sign that said, "No Middle Class allowed". Which sways me to the side of "Yes, there is racism, and yes, you're kind of missing the point deliberately."

There's a long history of abuse towards people of color, women, GLBT folks, and a lot of others in this country - and when someone is being abused you don't tell them to "suck it, be responsible for your own feelings", you tell the abuser to STOP WHAT THEY ARE DOING.

Asking someone to stop abusive behavior is not in and of itself abusive.

4) Freezing the thread, because we're not getting anywhere and you're being rather rude. Not to mention completely illogical.

Serious writer stuff.

(frozen comment) Edited Reply (LJ cut off my response)

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