Jan. 3rd, 2012

megwrites: Reading girl by Renoir.  (green hills)

Other people have said this before, but I think it bears re-iterating.

The stereotype of the romantically mentally ill writer/artist who's so sad and tortured but creates great art because of that pain is absolute crap. After the last two months of my life in which I've dealt with the worst depression and anxiety I've ever had. And it didn't help me write. Insomnia and panic attacks and suicidal ideation made writing a lot harder, actually.

Having proper meds and getting enough sleep and being able to function helps me write. And frankly, as my depression got worse, so did my ability to even string a sentence together, much a cohesive story.

I'm doing better now, but I officially have zero tolerance for anyone who wants to talk shit to me about "artistic temperaments". Or for anyone who wants to make jokes about psychiatric medicines or about mental illness or about any of it.


(Trigger warning for talk if mental health issues, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, self harming behaviors, eating disorders, and suicidal thoughts beneath the cut) )


Now for something a bit happier! I wanted to send out my profound gratitude to all of you on my f-list here and LJ and various other places for speaking about your mental health issues: your meds, your doctors, your treatment, your good days and bad days, your trips to the hospital, your insurance woes. All of it.

For all the words you've written, whether it's public or under lock where a select few can see them, thank you. In a way, your words helped me. Knowing that I wasn't alone and that people do live and cope with these things helped. It helped to see that people I admire deeply and respect for their talent, kindness, humor, fierceness, righteousness, bravery, and general awesome had these issues, too, gave me hope that it wasn't a sentence to never be anything.

Thank you so much. I may not have commented on what you wrote, but I was reading. I did pay attention. Your words stayed with me and many of them specifically came back to me when I needed them.


I need book recs! The holiday season left me bearing gift cards to places where books (electronic and paper) might be acquired and I definitely want to dive into some good things.

Especially fantasy, sci-fi, paranormal romance/urban fantasy written by authors of color (women and non-binary folks esp.), queer authors, and other such folks. I'm beginning to think I need a rule that says I won't read any paranormal romance/urban fantasy written by white women and published by a major publisher/press without three trusted sources first vetting it.

Why? Because the first book of 2012 is turning out to be disappointing. I thought it had promise, I really did. The guy who seemed like he'd be the love interest in the first chapter turned out to be the villain. When the villain begins stalking the heroine, she does all she can and it's made clear that stalking is wrong and creepy and evil! When someone implies it's her fault because she had coffee with the guy, she doesn't take that shit at all! The two main characters don't immediately fall into instant lust and want to fuck each other and mystically bond, they start out as distant acquaintances!

But then the fail started coming in. Describing a character as "East Asian in a dreamy way" (as opposed to the icky kind of East Asian?) and having the main male character get snarly at a bunch of cops for hitting on the main female after the stalker-villain destroys everything she owns, but then insisting she stay with him until she gets on her feet and mentally undressing her all the while.

I'm not sure I'm going to finish this book, hence the need for recs!

Oh, and any really great biographies/histories of non-white/non-European people or subjects would be great. Especially if they're written by non-white/non-European authors.


I kind of want to start a discussion about self publishing and e-books, especially from the side of readers. How much do people out there read self-published books and ebooks? Where do you get them from, how do you find them, what appeals to you? Is the quality better, worse, the same as traditionally published material?

So, chime in if you like to let me know. How often do you read self-published vs. traditonally published books? Ebooks vs. paper books?

I've been meaning to ask these questions for a while, but well. See numbers 1-3 for reasons why.

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