Working through the NaPoWriMo Backlog (Day #5)

"Used to Be"
By: Meg Freeman


I used to want so many things
I used to want
that tall, aloof boy
to look my way
and I used to want
to hear God putting things
in my heart
like slotting a mixtape
into a deck
and hitting play

I used to wish
for a tall dark horse
with a white mane
who loved me only
to ride
and a seashore home
and to have
charming unstrange
strangers to
whisper to me
of my power and specialness
and take my
hand and lead me to
undangerous danger
by way of adveture

I used to want
pop tarts every morning
and all the orange juice
and peanut butter I
could eat
and swiss cake rolls
every damn night
And nothing more
than enough paper
to write and draw
my fill
because that was enough
back then

I used to be the
stupidest saddest
lump of a thing
I ever knew.
I used to be too
goddamn dumb to live

Now, I'm still
a stupid sad lump
but I've gotten
smart enough to die.