I think I have writer's clog.

[megwrites]

I have too many ideas, none of them panning out, and nothing is working right now. Yesterday and today were complete washes, although yesterday was a Research Day at least. I got absolutely nothing done today. Not even useful research.

Part of the problem, if I'm being honest, is a fundamental lack of confidence. Because I'm pretty sure that no matter what I write, it sucks like an electrolux. Thus, I feel like there's nothing I can do. I'm swimming on a sea of my own complete incompetence and I don't even have a compass to tell me which way's north, and oh, it's a cloudy night tonight.

I'm going back to working on the Tower!Guy, because it's over halfway done. If I can't do something well, I might as well do something complete.

The Wolfshorde is broken, in a deep, fundamental way. It's broken because I don't want tell another story about a heroine who discovers her hidden powers and her hidden past and her hidden parents and her hidden drama llamas. That's been done, and even I'm not interested in it. Also, it's similar to what's going on in the Tower!Guy story. But at least there, it makes more sense and isn't so abominably trite. There are so many elements of The Wolfshorde that I love, but I don't know how to work the story around the heroine needing to have undiscovered powers and a secret parentage she doesn't know about.

If I actually did as much headdesking as I feel like doing, I would give myself a bloody concussion. I am just that frustrated and COVERED IN BEES.

I'm going to bury my nose in Cast In Secret and maybe watch some Eddie Izzard and figure out how to unclog my brain.

Comments

[scififanatic.livejournal.com]

and I don't even have a compass to tell me which way's north, and oh, it's a cloudy night tonight. You don't have a writing group you can trust with your work?

Also, I totally understand these moments you describe. I think it's good to get away from the page and read, like you're doing. Sometimes watching a movie or doing some photography or just going for a walk can help clear the clutter for me.

[fiction-theory.livejournal.com]

You don't have a writing group you can trust with your work?

Not really. I have terribly bad luck with writer's groups. I never have found one that's a fit.

The last one I was a part of, I felt so intimidated that I never actually submitted anything to the group, even when it was my turn. Plus, I got that Why Are You Here? feeling. You know, the one you get when you're part of a demographic that is not represented anywhere else in the room and you're pretty sure that everyone else is well aware of it, and kind of wondering why you're spoiling the Homogeny Party?

Yeah. I was, like, 19 in a room full of people, none of whom was under 35. After about two or three meetings, I got the feeling that they regarded me as an idiot college student who should've gone back to...whatever they thought idiot college students should do.

I was so intimidated that I never actually submitted anything, either. That was the last writer's group that I part of.

Sometimes watching a movie or doing some photography or just going for a walk can help clear the clutter for me.

Maybe that's a good idea. I'm not a very good photographer, but maybe I should get back to painting. Maybe it's just that a whole bunch of my creative energies are getting all mushed together because I'm expending them the right way.