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Think of this as a sort of Writer's Murphy's Law
1. The amount of writing you can do is inversely proportional to the time you have to do it. 20 minutes until you need to leave for work? You've got an entire chapter waiting to burst out. A whole holiday weekend? Blinking cursor o' doom.
2. The quality of inspiration is directly proportional to the distance between you and your computer.
2a. The best ideas will come when there's not a scrap of paper around.
2b. You will write entire unrecoverable novels while in traffic, in your car, at work, or waiting in line
3. What you write will never look as good on paper as it did in your head.
4. Inspiration is what happens when you're busy doing other things you really need to be doing.
5. You are more likely to find Jimmy Hoffa riding a unicorn and shaking hands with aliens than a good title when you really need it.
6. Characters like to talk over your boss, your professor, your signifigant other. Anyone who should be more important than they are.
7. The more exciting and well done something is, the more likely your computer is to completely crash before it's saved.
8. Characters become strangely laconic when you shove a microphone in their face and tell them that you *want* them to talk.
9. The people who you want to get hooked up won't even be able to make casual conversation without sounding like wood.
10. The people who have no reason to even look at each other will make with the whoopie.
11. Outlines are like training bras. The more things develop, the less useful they become.
12. Chemistry between characters is as exact a science as such things like palm reading and picking out the next American Idol.
13. Yes. The blinking cursor *is* mocking you.
14. The most inspirational songs are the ones you *don't* have on CD/your harddrive
15. Downloading or acquiring these songs suddenly makes them useless as inspiration.
16. The things you want to describe (facial expressions, gestures, motions) will remain beyond words.
17. Setting aside time to write is like setting aside time to want to do everything else *but* write.
18. The more organized something is, the less interesting it is to write.
19. People in straight jacket probably think you're crazy
20. Nobody you know in real life will have any idea what you're doing and you will only get funny looks from family members.
21. Anything you write will become infintely more embarassing when you think about showing it to your family
22. Putting music on shuffle to write a scene of a certain mood means that every song of the opposite mood will play. For example: trying to write a tragic, dark, serious scene will cause your entire collection of boyband music to play.
1. The amount of writing you can do is inversely proportional to the time you have to do it. 20 minutes until you need to leave for work? You've got an entire chapter waiting to burst out. A whole holiday weekend? Blinking cursor o' doom.
2. The quality of inspiration is directly proportional to the distance between you and your computer.
2a. The best ideas will come when there's not a scrap of paper around.
2b. You will write entire unrecoverable novels while in traffic, in your car, at work, or waiting in line
3. What you write will never look as good on paper as it did in your head.
4. Inspiration is what happens when you're busy doing other things you really need to be doing.
5. You are more likely to find Jimmy Hoffa riding a unicorn and shaking hands with aliens than a good title when you really need it.
6. Characters like to talk over your boss, your professor, your signifigant other. Anyone who should be more important than they are.
7. The more exciting and well done something is, the more likely your computer is to completely crash before it's saved.
8. Characters become strangely laconic when you shove a microphone in their face and tell them that you *want* them to talk.
9. The people who you want to get hooked up won't even be able to make casual conversation without sounding like wood.
10. The people who have no reason to even look at each other will make with the whoopie.
11. Outlines are like training bras. The more things develop, the less useful they become.
12. Chemistry between characters is as exact a science as such things like palm reading and picking out the next American Idol.
13. Yes. The blinking cursor *is* mocking you.
14. The most inspirational songs are the ones you *don't* have on CD/your harddrive
15. Downloading or acquiring these songs suddenly makes them useless as inspiration.
16. The things you want to describe (facial expressions, gestures, motions) will remain beyond words.
17. Setting aside time to write is like setting aside time to want to do everything else *but* write.
18. The more organized something is, the less interesting it is to write.
19. People in straight jacket probably think you're crazy
20. Nobody you know in real life will have any idea what you're doing and you will only get funny looks from family members.
21. Anything you write will become infintely more embarassing when you think about showing it to your family
22. Putting music on shuffle to write a scene of a certain mood means that every song of the opposite mood will play. For example: trying to write a tragic, dark, serious scene will cause your entire collection of boyband music to play.
