Open Letter to Colleen Lindsay
Dec. 3rd, 2009 12:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
megwritesDear Colleen Lindsay,
I have been following the comments that you and others have made in this post made by Rachelle Gardner concerning public complaints by writers. My opinions on that can be found in other entries, if you feel like reading them. That's not here what I came to talk about.
I came here to talk about this comment that you left further down the page, the one that says (emphasis mine):
This may be the scariest thing I've ever done, but I need to tell you that this is not okay. I realize that I am probably very much putting whatever writing career I might have had in jeopardy. I realize that I could face a lot of consequences for saying this.
I'm willing to live with that.
I don't know your personal life all that well, besides what you Twitter or blog, so I don't know if you've ever had cause to be someone who takes Xanax or a medication similar to that.
But I do know many friends and family who have. Including me. I'm shaking right now, because I really don't like to admit that once upon a time, I had to be put on psychiatric medications when I was a kid. I still feel ashamed of it. It was a long time ago, and I try not to think about it or about how hard I tried not to let anyone know about it because, well, letting the kids at school know you're on "crazy pills" is asking to be teased.
I saw what happened to the one other girl in school who let the secret slip. I heard the "crazy" jokes and the "psycho" remarks. I heard the "she must be off her meds" remarks if she dared to show her hurt, her anger, her frustration. I got lucky. I kept my secret and was taken off the meds quickly. To this day, the thought of ever having to go back on them make me shake. Like I'm shaking right now.
I'm no longer on any psychiatric medications, but I know so many people who take such things. Including, yes, Xanax.
Those people, those friends and family, don't take it because they're high-strung and just need to "chill". They don't take it because they're bitchy and whiny and weak. They take it so they can function, so they can lead healthier lives. It is not due to a character flaw - it is due to a disorder, a disability.
The act of admitting you need help, especially with a mental disorder, is terrifying for so many people. There is still a lot of stigma surrounding it. When you admit that you have or still do take those drugs, you're opening yourself to a lot of scorn, to people who trivialize your condition, to people who think you're just whining and complaining, to people who think you're less trustworthy or intelligent because of it.
This isn't about writers or agents or the gripes between them. I don't care about that right now. I care that a professional that I respected so much has shown such profound disrespect, intentional or not, to so many people I care about.
You're a highly visible figure in the publishing world. One look at your blog or your Twitter feed shows that a lot of people watch and listen to you, and when you say such things, you give a silent nod to ablism to all those people watching. Yes, their actions and words are their responsibility. You can't control what other people do. But you can control what you yourself do, and what you condone.
I'm asking that in the future that you think about the things you say publicly, even in moments of great irritation (however justified) and the impact they will have on others. It is something that I think anyone who blogs, tweets, or comments should think about before they hit "post".
I'm keeping this letter open because I think that you are not, by any means, the first or worst in the voices of people who also encourage a culture of ablism, whether they mean to or not. I think we all need to talk about this, need to talk about ways we can change our words and behaviors so that we're not holding people down, disrespecting them, and making their lives harder.
Perhaps open letters on the internet are also unprofessional, perhaps bringing this out into the open is unprofessional, perhaps air my past is unprofessional. Well, maybe professionalism isn't all it's cracked up to be. And I'm not a professional. I'm just some nobody, unpublished writer with stories to tell who sees other people with stories -- and selves -- that are scorned, hidden, disrespected, ignored and thinks that it shouldn't be that way. I think that comments like yours only make it harder for those stories and those selves to come out honestly, openly, and with the dignity they deserve, and that shouldn't be.
Thank You,
Meg Freeman
I have been following the comments that you and others have made in this post made by Rachelle Gardner concerning public complaints by writers. My opinions on that can be found in other entries, if you feel like reading them. That's not here what I came to talk about.
I came here to talk about this comment that you left further down the page, the one that says (emphasis mine):
I actually didn't go into anyone's journal. Google feeds locked posts into the Google reader willy-nilly, regardless of whether the post is locked or not. I found out it was a locked post simply because I tried to reference it again to show a colleague from another agency who was also mentioned in the post and I was unable to access it through LiveJournal.
You may be loathe to point this out so I will: I just did you and every other writer a major public service by letting you all know that even if you think something is private, it can sometimes still be seen by Google Reader.
Here's a Xanax and a glass of water. Chill, please.
Colleen
This may be the scariest thing I've ever done, but I need to tell you that this is not okay. I realize that I am probably very much putting whatever writing career I might have had in jeopardy. I realize that I could face a lot of consequences for saying this.
I'm willing to live with that.
I don't know your personal life all that well, besides what you Twitter or blog, so I don't know if you've ever had cause to be someone who takes Xanax or a medication similar to that.
But I do know many friends and family who have. Including me. I'm shaking right now, because I really don't like to admit that once upon a time, I had to be put on psychiatric medications when I was a kid. I still feel ashamed of it. It was a long time ago, and I try not to think about it or about how hard I tried not to let anyone know about it because, well, letting the kids at school know you're on "crazy pills" is asking to be teased.
I saw what happened to the one other girl in school who let the secret slip. I heard the "crazy" jokes and the "psycho" remarks. I heard the "she must be off her meds" remarks if she dared to show her hurt, her anger, her frustration. I got lucky. I kept my secret and was taken off the meds quickly. To this day, the thought of ever having to go back on them make me shake. Like I'm shaking right now.
I'm no longer on any psychiatric medications, but I know so many people who take such things. Including, yes, Xanax.
Those people, those friends and family, don't take it because they're high-strung and just need to "chill". They don't take it because they're bitchy and whiny and weak. They take it so they can function, so they can lead healthier lives. It is not due to a character flaw - it is due to a disorder, a disability.
The act of admitting you need help, especially with a mental disorder, is terrifying for so many people. There is still a lot of stigma surrounding it. When you admit that you have or still do take those drugs, you're opening yourself to a lot of scorn, to people who trivialize your condition, to people who think you're just whining and complaining, to people who think you're less trustworthy or intelligent because of it.
This isn't about writers or agents or the gripes between them. I don't care about that right now. I care that a professional that I respected so much has shown such profound disrespect, intentional or not, to so many people I care about.
You're a highly visible figure in the publishing world. One look at your blog or your Twitter feed shows that a lot of people watch and listen to you, and when you say such things, you give a silent nod to ablism to all those people watching. Yes, their actions and words are their responsibility. You can't control what other people do. But you can control what you yourself do, and what you condone.
I'm asking that in the future that you think about the things you say publicly, even in moments of great irritation (however justified) and the impact they will have on others. It is something that I think anyone who blogs, tweets, or comments should think about before they hit "post".
I'm keeping this letter open because I think that you are not, by any means, the first or worst in the voices of people who also encourage a culture of ablism, whether they mean to or not. I think we all need to talk about this, need to talk about ways we can change our words and behaviors so that we're not holding people down, disrespecting them, and making their lives harder.
Perhaps open letters on the internet are also unprofessional, perhaps bringing this out into the open is unprofessional, perhaps air my past is unprofessional. Well, maybe professionalism isn't all it's cracked up to be. And I'm not a professional. I'm just some nobody, unpublished writer with stories to tell who sees other people with stories -- and selves -- that are scorned, hidden, disrespected, ignored and thinks that it shouldn't be that way. I think that comments like yours only make it harder for those stories and those selves to come out honestly, openly, and with the dignity they deserve, and that shouldn't be.
Thank You,
Meg Freeman
no subject
Date: 2009-12-04 08:03 pm (UTC)While, yes, it's true that being careful of what one says on the internet is NEVER a bad idea, I don't think that it's very professional either to tell someone who is alarmed that you may have wrongly accessed private information to, "
Here's a Xanax and a glass of water. Chill, please." (her words).
I certainly don't think it's necessary to use that kind of hurtful and psychophobic language when, frankly, the person she was responding to had a legitimate concern. The first comment WAS unclear as to how Ms. Lindsay had been able to use Google Reader to view a locked LJ entry.
I don't know the history between her and that commenter at all. If that particular person has been harassing her, that's definitely terrible and it's wrong to stalk or harass people online, end of.
But that kind of language? Saying that particular phrase? That's not professional either. It was hurtful to a LOT of people. I think Ms. Lindsay has other venues for redress if she's being wrongly harassed online. She certainly could have notified the owner of the blog she commented in.
For the record, I agree totally with what
Which is a triple tragedy because Ms. Lindsay aside, agents I've come in contact with so far have been a really spectacular bunch of people who were decent, professional, intelligent, helpful, and just all around wonderful.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-04 08:18 pm (UTC)You seem to forget that I was the first one to reach out to you as a writer, read your manuscript, take you to lunch to discuss it and share two hours of my time with you on how to improve your writing and your book.
But I'm just a bully, I guess.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-04 08:53 pm (UTC)I totally get where Colleen was coming from with her comment. It has NOTHING to do with psychophobia and everything to do with telling someone to CALM THE F DOWN. Doctors often give Xanax the day before a procedure to help calm the patient–patients with NO psychological issues...
~Rachel Bateman (sorry for the anonymous post–they irritate me to no end–but I don't have a LJ account, nor the time to create one right now)
no subject
Date: 2009-12-04 09:08 pm (UTC)I'm fully aware Xanax is given to patients to calm them down outside of psychiatric therapy, but I'm not sure how that relates to this matter.
I don't understand what is defensible about having told someone to take a Xanax when a simple explanation and a "calm down" would have sufficed.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-04 09:38 pm (UTC)To be blunt, this is bullshit. This is a ridiculous attack against Colleen Lindsay. If you read the line 'take a Xanax and chill' and got offended enough to write a long ass blog about it, that is YOUR problem. Colleen clearly never meant the hurt and anger that you took from this. And since it seems to give insta-cred to you, I too have been prescribed before and I couldn't have been less offended by the comment. That doesn't give me a special right, neither does it you. It doesn't mean anything except that you've been prescribed. Handle it personally however you choose. Not everyone feels the same way about it that you do.
The 'chill' comment, if you really did follow it, was aimed to someone who accused Lindsay of 'breaking in' to private journals and spreading the news around like some sort of freak Harriet the Spy incident gone wrong. Uh...seriously?? That person...needed to chill. And however the hell Colleen wanted to imply that was HER right.
I really can't even believe that this post exists...how about being oh-so-profeshunalz and realize that Lindsay's words were her own. She meant them how she meant them. Anyone taking it any other way, well...again, that's their problem, isn't it? Doesn't exactly give the moral green light to trash someone in an OPEN freaking letter for no other reason other than 'ooh it hurt my feelings.' There are bigger and scarier things out there, people.
GEEZ!
-Amy Lukavics
no subject
Date: 2009-12-04 09:40 pm (UTC)Taking Xanax, as has been pointed out, is not exclusive to people with mental health issues. Therefore, "Take a Xanax" as another way to say "Calm down" or "Chill out" is not implicitly "psychophobic." It was a bit snarky, but I think taking it upon yourself to be offended on behalf of everyone who's ever taken or possibly needed medication (including the OP) really does fall under the category of "Looking for offense where none was offered."
I think of all the mountains you could have chosen to die on, this was a poor choice.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-04 09:45 pm (UTC)I'm not sure how this is a mountain that I'm dying on. Sure, it's an internet conversation that's causing some small amount of controversy, but I hardly see it as any kind of death.
"Looking for offense where none was offered."
Just because someone doesn't offer offense does not mean they do not cause it. It's like saying it doesn't hurt if you're shot accidentally. I'm very sure Ms. Lindsay was not purposely trying to offend anyone, but she did. I said something about it.
If that means that other agents and perhaps editors decide they don't want to work with me, that is their decision. If they believe this makes me unfit to work with, it is probably better for all parties.
I do not regret having stood up and said this, because I've seen far too much psychophobia and ablism floating around the internet in the form of throw-away remarks and snarky retorts that apparently, you're not allowed to be offended by because "they didn't mean it".
Intention is never as important as result.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-04 10:01 pm (UTC)I'm not unsympathetic to your basic premise, I'm not one of those people who casually dismisses "PC" talk, but I really do think you are being unreasonable here.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-04 10:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-15 05:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-15 11:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-16 04:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-16 12:10 pm (UTC)Never mind how you intend to lurk and "support her in email" by leaving comments here instead of in her own LJ.
And niiiiiice with the "crazypants". It makes your intelligence oh so obvious. I suppose this is the part where I'm supposed to cry and feel wounded to my mortal soul or something? Oh noes! A random, anonymous person on the internet was mean to me, my life is in ruins!
And your bravery at going anonymous is commendable as well. I salute you for it. I can see it must have been a terrifying ordeal for you to leave unsigned comments in someone else's LJ. I can only hope one day that I, too, can summon up the courage to troll other people's spaces instead of leaving signed comments with my name the way I usually do.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-04 10:51 pm (UTC)If it's coming from a privileged person to a non-privileged person and used as an attempt to stop discussion, how is it anything but a silencing tactic?
Furthermore, the privileged are the ones who decide what is considered "polite" or "jerkish" behavior. Pointing out someone's use of problematic language is often seen as incredibly "rude", "unprofessional" or even "vitriolic" (no matter how tactfully its worded), while the problematic language itself is not deemed a problem.
"Looking for offense where none was offered."
Yeah. Says the privileged. It couldn't possibly be that due to one's privilege, certain matters don't affect on the same way or at all, the way it does the not-privileged, therefore it's harder to understand their perspective, not that they're wrong to be upset.