megwrites

Since I'm (foolishly) secretly working on a Vampire Novel of Doom, I had to post this poll. Because I need to know the trufax about vampires.


[Poll #1492062]

Wow, is Daylight Savings ever kicking my ass. The Boy told me a rather funny story about having to explain daylight savings to non-Americans who came to his theatre an hour early for their movie and were very curious as to why, apparently, Americans felt they had the authority to change time itself.

Which, given America, is not an illogical assumption to make about why we'd have such a thing.

I wish I could go back in time and assure them that time didn't change, Americans are just batshit insane and are all pretending, in concert, that time has changed. Because, see above, re: batshit insane.

Anyway, the thing I came here for:

madam_silvertip has a great list of writers of color in SF/F. And nhw has a list of books by POC he's read in proportion to non-PoC authored books he's read. I should probably get around to doing the same one of these days, if only in private because that's a good kind of self-auditing to do.

I'm always on a quest to build a Must Read list. And since my reward for finally finishing my @#$%ing impossible to finish Absolutely Last So Help Me Flying Spaghetti Monster Draft of the Tower!Guy novel is to treat myself to some new books, it means I'm practically licking my chops looking for delicious reads.

As always, I will take any recommendations under advisement, and anything that might help me in my quest for The Perfect Vampire Novel would also be really delicious.

I refuse to give up on my quest for the Perfect Vampire Novel. Even if I have to be the one to write it.

I just have to get through with this other novel first.

So guess what urban fantasy/paranormal romance writers and the editors thereof? I'm putting you on notice. I'm boycotting your bad books and your trashy covers and your startling lack of diversity or emotional depth. I'm done with you. You want my money? Damn well earn it. But I've had it. And until someone decides to write a grown up novel, I'll be spending my precious dollars elsewhere.

Diversity, depth, and dignity or GTFO.


As for that novel I have to get through, it's going fairly well. I'm over the hump and now I'm beginning to reach the downhill slope. I may just make my self imposed deadline, which would be nice.

Even better if I could get through it in time to hatch my Super Secret Plan. More details on that to come later, but I've just had a truly wicked idea. Don't worry, I'll share.

Dear Writers, Editors, Agents, and Publishers of Urban Fantasy,

I don't know if you've seen this here, but you need to go look. Your audiences are speaking, and you need to listen. People are getting frustrated with the Urban Fantasy genre, and in this economic climate, you need our dollars. You need us, the readers.

But I don't like to bitch without offering suggestions, so I thought I'd offer up a helpful, numbered list so that you have something to refer to when you're writing, editing, representing, or considering taking on an urban fantasy book.


1. When people say they're tired of the "kickass heroine" or "Buffy clone", what they're really saying is that they're tired of female protagonists who are physically powerful and have the emotional depth of a postage stamp. They're tired of heroines that are self absorbed. And when you have a heroine who acts and thinks as though all the world, natural and supernatural, revolves around her and her powers - that's self absorbed. When she looks at every attractive man as though, of course, he's going to be attracted in return, that's self absorbed. When she describes her clothing and looks in detail as though it could possibly matter that her pants are leather or her heels are three inches high or her hair is red - that's incredibly self absorbed.

1b. Enough with the "sass" and the "snark", or at least the feeble attempts at them. It's not funny, it's not amusing. Trying to be as colloquial as possible in a character's speech does not a great read make.

2. Diversity is important. Scratch that. Diversity is absolutely essential and needed. Needed beyond the telling of it. I'm not just talking about sticking a few more minor characters who are GLBT/disabled/of color in a book to fill a quota. I'm talking about investments in authors of color and GLBT authors themselves. Don't just look for stories that are about CoC's or GLBT protags or disabled or non-neurotypical people. Look for stories that are written by those people themselves. Commit to them telling their stories of the supernatural in their own words, without mediation by an outsider writer who may have more privilege and access.

2b. The next time I see a novel set in NYC where the vast majority of the characters are white? Somebody is getting it in the face. Hard. This is New York City, and we have so many different people here, and those stories deserve to be told by the people who they belong to. I love my city, and I will not have it whitewashed, straightened, and cookie-cut. This city has color. This city has sexuality. This city has ability and disability. This city has faith. This city has everything. Don't you dare try to act otherwise.

2c. Why, yes, I am angry. My question to you folks who write, edit, represent, and publish is: Why aren't you? You should be.

3. Put a moratorium on vampires and werewolves for a while. That's not to say that if you have a novel that's The Sound and the Fury for the supernatural, you shouldn't go ahead. But if it can be summed up with the words: "Heroine gets involved in magic, meets a vampire or werewolf and the sparks fly" - give it a pass. Actually, give it a one way ticket to the trash.

4. Fire the people in the art department and then set them on fire. With matches and gasoline and maybe some napalm if you can get it. For the love of all things good in the world, make the tramp stamps and the leather clad ass shots stop. Now. This epidemic of deeply sexist, horribly cliched cover art has got to end.

5. Do your research, do it right, and do it with respect and care. If you're going to use, say, voodoo as part of your supernatural world, make sure to do it right. That's somebody's faith, and they deserve respect. Ditto goes for grabbing other people's mythology and religions for your own without understanding what it actually means. "Well, the funny words all sounded cool and I'm supposed to be diverse, right?" is not a good reason for doing so.

5b. Accept criticism when you screw up in this area, especially criticism from the people who's faith, mythology, and culture you gakked in the first place. Accept it with humility. Accept it without condition. If your response to said criticism is not: "I'm sorry. I'm wrong. I will do my best to do better in future. Period, end of sentence.", then just keep your trap shut.

6. Think very carefully about your world building, about the structures, groups, and rules you come up with. Writing a fantasy novel (urban or otherwise) doesn't excuse you from believability. It doesn't excuse you from thinking about consequences and repercussions.

7. Think very carefully about your use of the first person when telling a story. Think about the flow of the story. Think about whether the middle of a scene where your protagonist is fighting for his/her life is a good time to go on a little aside about their oh-so-tragic childhood or their oh-so-wacky love life or their oh-so-sexy attire.

8. Enough with the tragic childhoods. Coming from an abusive/neglectful home does not make you cooler. It doesn't make you stronger, even. Sometimes it just makes you more broken and makes things harder than they are for other people. Sometimes it makes you weak and strange. Please, go talk to some actual abuse survivors before you consider penciling in a protagonist who is one.


So, in conclusion, it's time to generate new ideas, new characters, new thought patterns.

Yes, it may sound like I'm complaining, and I'm being harsh. But I believe in you folks, you literary folks of every ilk. I'm one of you. And I know we can do better. I know the stories are out there, the truly great ones, and I want to read them. I've heard the old adage, "Write what you want to read", but nobody can write everything they'd want to see.

Which means some of you have to, and I know you can.

Still Reading and Hoping,
Me

For all you Twitter fiends and writers: Query in 140 words or less contest being run over at The Swivet.

The grand prize is a critique of your query and first chapter. Which I think is brilliant, and coming from Colleen, it's more than valuable. I was utterly blessed when she did a critique of the early draft of the Tower!Guy novel, and I can tell you that her comments pretty much helped me fix the book so that I could tell the story I needed to tell.

Also, if you need a little inspiration to make you dream of what could be, might I suggest The Book Cover Archive which has beautifully designed covers from all genres, including Science Fiction. Although, why is that only the classic works of speculative fiction (and all it's subgenres) seem to get the good cover art and the newbies get the Tramp Stamp of Doom. Not to mention the historical prevalence of sad cover art.

I will refrain from ranting about how I'd really love it if publishers of SF/F did away with some of the more ridiculous, cookie cutter and absurd covers that they have and are still coming out with. Writers may not have control over cover art, but the people at the publishing company bloody well do. Like I said, I will refrain.