megwrites

I just received a rejection for a query I sent in February.

I'm caught between being very amused at the eight month gap and slightly bewildered that the agent (or agent's assistant) bothered. Not to downplay that it's a really nice gesture, because it is, it's just that -

a) I think one can assume that after eight months, the agent either was not interested or too busy to take on a new client or both. Which, you know, fair enough. I'm of the school of thought that I'd rather an agent turn me down when their plate is full and concentrate on their clients than try to take me on and have me get lost in the shuffle because they have ten gazillion things to do and people to deal with.

b) That's time out of someone's day to write (or at least cut-n-paste) and send the email (and probably many others)

So thank you, agent. It wasn't necessary, but it was nice of you. I like your style, and hope we get to work together in the future. If I ever have something that's more up your alley, I'll send it your way.

I came across this post, entitled "Agent Query Policies: Stop the Griping" by Rachelle Gardner this morning while making my way around the usual places on the internet.

It's a good post. It's healthy for writers dealing with the inevitable frustration and teeth grinding anxiety that comes with submitting to remember that agents are busy, busy people. Long response times (or no response) is not a deliberate slight on their part. They're dealing with a day that only has 24 hours in it, and well, there's just only so much any human can do - and I do not think there is a single agent who deliberately keeps a longer response time than necessary or who withholds a response just to spite a writer. Non-response and long response times are the nature of the beast.

Remembering that agents are not trying to be rude can help with the frustration.

There is also a very important warning in that post, if you scroll down in comments. Agent Colleen Lindsay says, in this comment on the post,

I rejected a manuscript that I had been seriously considering last week because upon a cursory online search, I found a LiveJournal post by the author badmouthing me and several of my colleagues for what she thought were excessive response times. Well, that blog post cost her representation from at least one agent. (OH, and it was a LOCKED LibeJournal post. You do know that Google Reader doesn't respect locked posts, right? Well, you do now.)

This an extremely good warning to writers, and to all LiveJournal folk.

a) Google Reader does not respect locked posts at all. So what you think is private may not be private at all

and

b) Agents are reading your blog, they are paying attention, and they are Googling you. Be careful what you say on the internet, even when you think it's private.

That comment has scared the crap out of me. I don't think I've ever said anything that can be construed as badmouthing any particular agents, it definitely gave me pause. I wonder if my strong opinions have cost me representation. Have any agents looked at my blog and said, "Wow, this woman is mouthy and obnoxious. Reject!"

Some things I wouldn't mind getting rejected over. If an agent is so opposed to the idea that I fully and vocally support same-sex marriage rights, for example, its best we never work together.

Other things are not so simple. I was very outspoken about criticizing the proposed "new adult" category from St. Martin's, including being very critical of posts made about it. BTW, S. Jae-Jones earned a lot of respect from me for her response to my posts. I was probably far too harsh in some respects, but she handled it with considerable grace.

If an agent read those posts would they believe I'm difficult to work with?

If you are one of the agents who has or ever will have something by me under consideration, I'd like to say: I'm actually easy to work with. I take editorial direction well, I don't expect you to return calls or emails instantly, I understand that you're busy, I'm open to having anything I write torn apart for the sake of a better story, and I do try to conduct myself as a professional.

In the future, I'm definitely going to be twice as mindful of what I say online, even when I think it's private. Also, I'm possibly going to lodge a complaint with Google Reader for not respecting locked posts.

If you're also a writer querying about? I'd recommend the same.

This piece on GalleyCat asking Agents? Who needs 'em? sparked off a lot of controversy across the publishing sphere. The article posed the question about whether agents are becoming obsolete (or already are) with the advent of things like eBooks and Kindle.

I have to admit there was something of an anti-agent tone running through the piece, and there have been a lot of rebuttals:

Author Stacia Kane said: Yes, Virginia, you need an agent

Author Jeaniene Frost had some words to say as well

Miriam Goderich of the Dystel and Goderich Literary Agency responded that she also thinks agents are necessary an not going anywere

( My thoughts on the subject, let me show them to you. Or, the answer is not a Yes/No dichotomy. )

How NOT to be a professional.

I'm getting tired of seeing other writers, especially aspiring ones like myself, take such an oppositional tack when it comes to agents. For all that agents are accused of thinking of us writers as barely worthwhile scum on their shoes, it seems like plenty of authors feel the same way about agents.

Plus, have you ever heard of a writer arguing with a rejection and getting a positive result? Getting representation? Getting a book deal? I haven't yet, and I'd be surprised if it's ever happened in the history of modern publishing.

When it comes to dealing rejection, I suggest allowing yourself to feel what you're feeling. After nearly 35 rejections (since April) of the current novel out on query, I certainly am feeling a lot of things, not all of them warm and fuzzy. Feel frustrated, upset, depressed, even angry. But no matter what you feel. No matter how sorely disappointed you are, ACT professionally.

Your feelings are your own, and I don't believe in listening to anyone who tells you what is and isn't right to feel. I don't believe in telling writers, "don't take it personally". Telling a writer not to take it personally is like telling water not to be wet. You invest years of your life in something, it's personal. Feeling like you're helpless when it comes to the fate of a manuscript you've had total control over can send you around the bend.

However, these feelings should not dictate your actions. Be as emotional as you like, but do not ACT out of those emotions. Act out of professionalism. And for the record? Professionalism is just another word for mutual respect. Your feelings are not an agent's business, but your actions are. There's no rule that says that you must actually be smiling on the inside when you grin and bear it - but that doesn't excuse you from grinning and bearing it like an adult.

Whether or not you feel professional, act that way. Because that's how you'll become one.

Speaking of rejections, I got a shiny new one in the inbox. This brings the Query Score Card up to:


Rejections: 7

Requests: 1

Timed Out: 2

Still Pending: 8


ETA: Borked math on the Query Score Card.

After looking at the current query score card, I've made a few decisions regarding the fate of the Tower!Guy novel.

If there's no result by the end of the year, I'm going to either trash the Tower!Guy novel and forget it exists or podcast it in 2010 - but I'm not going to spend the next five years of my life grinding my teeth out of nervousness and checking my email obsessively every hour for a novel that, so far, nobody wants.

Maybe it's a good novel and the market sucks. Maybe it's not that good a novel. Either way, the result is the same.

If I seem a little angry about that, I am. Not at the agents for not recognizing my genius, because if the novel were any good, they wouldn't turn it down. Agents are not the problem.

I'm angry at myself and the story. I feel cheated. I poured my heart and soul into it. I really believed in it. I thought it was a damn good book. Apparently, it wasn't. I think I'm angry at myself for getting my hopes up, for being naive, for not realizing the story apparently sucked. I'm angry at myself for wasting precious time on a story that I can't convince anyone to read.

Frustrated Meg is frustrated, if you can't tell. And I knew this was going to be part of the process. So don't think I'm complaining or blaming anyone else. It's all on me.

Fortunately, I have other stories to tell. This was by no means my only shot. And I love writing. Even if I knew I wouldn't ever get published in my life time, I would still write. I love it. I need it. It's who I am. It's who I've always been. As sure as I'm a woman, I'm a writer.

But if I knew for certain that I'd never be professionally published in my lifetime, I'd just stick my stories up on a webpage, put out a paypal button, and have done with it. But it's the hope (delusion?) that I might be able to make a career out of it that keeps me from doing just that.

Hope is not always the warm fuzzy thing people think it is. Sometimes it's a ball and chain that keeps you tethered to something because you just can't let go. There's reason it was the monster in Pandora's Box.

But eternal hope is just eternal foolishness, so come the end of the year either I'll have some kind of result or I'll start fresh with new stories. Maybe I'll get luckier, maybe I'll be better, and maybe the market will be better.

But I can't keep hoping (as far as this novel goes) and I can't keep being angry at myself.

Woke up to a rejection in my inbox this morning - nothing like seeing a polite form letter while you're still trying to get the grime out of your eyes.

Which makes the new Query Score Card status:

Rejections - 3

Requests - 0

Still Pending - 14

Timed Out - 0


In a fit of optimism, I'm taking a flash drive with the full manuscript on it plus some other stuff to Florida with me (I leave in about an hour for the airport) in case I get good news while I'm there. That would be really nice.

So, I'm off. I'll have intermittent internet access while I soak up the Florida humidity sunshine and make final wedding plans (A month and two days until I'm a married woman, woohoo!)

I've found three more agents to submit to, so I fired off queries to them. I refuse to fail this time without having exhausted every option. Unfortunately, that means sending of queries and playing the Waiting Game - which may be the worst part of this entire writing thing.

Actually, I amend that. Rejections are the worst part. Of course, saying that is like saying having a hot poker jabbed into your eye is worse than being stung by 100,000 angry bees. It's all exceedingly unpleasant, but at least it's worth it whether I succeed or fail.

If I succeed, yay for me. I've climbed one insurmountable mountain and can now begin to contemplate how in the sweet lovely hell I'm going to surmount (mount?) the next one.

If I fail, well, I've learned something about either the market, the agents, my query letters, or the story itself and maybe all of the above. Which will serve me well next time.

On a side note, can I just say thank goodness my current project is urban fantasy? I swear there's a 20:1 ratio of agents for urban fantasy to agents for straight-up fantasy. It's really frustrating, let me tell you, internets. I'm wondering if that's a sign that the adult fantasy market is failing or if agents don't think it's the cool new thing anymore or what.

Right now I'm bracing for rejections and deciding what my next move should be. I don't think I can do any more with this novel as it is, and maybe it's served its purpose. Maybe it was just supposed to be a teaching tool for me. I can say I learned an amazing amount about editing and querying from it, so there's that.

I guess right now I'm asking myself if I can let this story go and move on to the next one, if I still have confidence in it. And honestly? I don't know the answer.

So, the revised Query Score Card stands at:

Rejections - 1

Requests - 0

Still Pending - 10


ETA: My math is severely borked. This is why I'm a writer, not an accountant.

The queries for Round 2 of the agent hunt have now left my inbox and are packeting their way towards various inboxes. Whatever happens, I still love writing. I still want to do this. And I'm still glad, even if they all come back as rejections, that I tried.

I will now go have lunch and bite my nails until I get the results back. Thank you, that is all.

I know I've said this before, but I think it bears repeating. I really, really, really wish some agents would be more specific about what they want or do not want, especially if they don't accept e-queries.

Before anyone thinks I'm ranting about how terrible agents are (they aren't!), this is a problem with some agents, not all. Most agents have submissions guidelines that are easily found and very specific. I appreciate those agents. A lot.

Some agents, however...

I wish agents would make sure their AgentQuery, PublishersMarketplace, and LitMatch listings are specific and accurate. So many have several (or every) fiction genre listed, but very demonstrably - and by demonstrably, I mean looking at their client lists and recent sales - only represent one or two types of books. A literary book about angsty ghosts is not the same as fantasy or horror or mystery. They're not even on the same side of the bookstore! Why in the world does your page list every conceivable genre when your client list is telling me that you've probably never picked up an SF/F book in your life? Why?

I don't know whether this is because of the way that AQ, PM, and LM list agents or how the form is filled out, but it's problematic.

Especially when that agent doesn't have a website, blog, or other place where I can see their guidelines. Or the ones who like to add a little Vague Sauce. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones where the agent says something like, "I'm looking for a book that stands out from the rest and sweeps the reader away! I want something with a unique voice and an interesting perspective!"

Which makes me say, "Yeah, that's real cute. So, do you represent SF/F or not?"

I used to get mad every time I saw submissions guidelines saying, "Absolutely no SF/F! No vampires or werewolves!" Now? I want to thank those for being straightforward and specific. Once I know that they don't want to pick up what I'm throwing down? I can hit the back button and save us both some very precious time.

I'm still gathering research, and building my spreadsheet o' doom for this time around on the Merry-Go-Agent.

I think I might be ready to go, after another run through of my query letter, synopsis, and the manuscript by the end of this week. I'm trying to build up my confidence so I can do this without devolving into a nervous wreck.

I got a lot of progress done on the UF!2girls novel, but I realize that editing this thing is going to be hell on wheels, because there's so much stuff that I need to cut out, other stuff I know now I need to add, and yet other things that just need to be plain old rewritten.

The wordcount is getting heavy because I'm at 80k and little more than halfway through, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to be able to cut out at least 40k. After all, I took a 123k draft down to 82k with the Tower!Guy novel, and I'm sure I can do at least that much for this novel.

Lately, I've been metaphorizing my writing by thinking of clay sculptures we used to do in art class at school. My teacher told us that the first stages were about sticking everything on, and then you shave things down and smooth them out, but first you have to get the basic form. That seems reasonable right now. I'm letting myself stick lumps of text here and there, knowing I'll go back with the refining tools to make it all come together attractively and it'll be an editing problem later on.

Also, it helps to make editing notes and stick them somewhere for later use.