megwrites

I had a moment today when I was writing where I felt slightly frightened of what I was typing, not because it was a scary scene, but because I realized I was hashing out a fundamental life issue that's been a problem for me for a while and is a problem still.

I try not to work my issues out on paper, because I'm not sure anyone else would find them interesting. But just this once, I think it helped me to understand the story better and give the readers something I think they might feel a lot of sympathy for.

I also wanted to ask a question of my fellow writers, and that is this: Do you ever get so deeply tuned into a character when you're writing that when you step away from writing, you feel like you still have that character, the setting, the situations sort of overlaying all your thoughts.

For instance, when I went to bed last night after writing, I was getting into bed and for some reason I was imagining one of my characters and what they'd be like when they went to bed, and what they would do, and imagining for a few seconds that I was in their place.

It was a bit of an unsettling moment, because I'm quite cautious about my mental health and always a little afraid that I might one day come completely unhinged, so I try to check myself if I feel I'm going to a Crazy Place.

But I also told myself that maybe other writers do this, that perhaps it's not a sign that I'm beginning to break with reality or dissociate from my own identity (I shudder at the thought) - but that maybe it's just part of really getting down and dirty with your work, maybe some of the dirt stays under your nails and between your toes.

So, tell me, oh f-list that knows all, am I crazy or just a writer? And no, in this once instance, they are not interchangeable, though one can be forgiven for thinking so because creativity and madness are like identical twins that you have to get to know before you can tell them apart.




The Devil's Workshop

43,402 / 50,000 (86.8%)

Woot! I'm past the 30k mark, which means I'm past the halfway part. I still have a way to go before I'm where I want to do.

But I have learned an important lesson. When in need of words to fill a big hole between plot points, gay sex is always a viable option. In my defense, my characters are married, so it's totally cool. And yes, as far as I'm concerned, same-sex marriage is already a reality. It just doesn't come with tax breaks and property rights yet.

And for the record? Saying that tax breaks and insurance sharing is what validates a marriage and "sanctifies" it is like saying that you can't have a cheeseburger without ketchup and pickles. It's nice to have them, but as long you've got meat, cheese, and buns (don't forget the buns!), it's a goddamn burger and any snotty burger purists can just get a side order of STFU & GTFO with that.

But enough of my political views.


The Devil's Workshop

34,010 / 50,000 (68.0%)

Oh, I'm exhausted. I'd like to get to sleep at a reasonable time sometime this week!

I had yet another doctor's appointment today that took a chunk out of my day. Getting a bit tired of doctors and medical things in general.

I did some writing while I was in the waiting room, and a bit of plotting in my head on the subway when it was too crowded to break out my Moleskine and write (yes, I gave in to the Snotty College Trend and got a Moleskine, and yes I like it).

I also woke up this morning slightly out of sorts because I had two hard ciders and a shot of rum in celebration of last night's victory.

Thing about great national victories and historical moments? They're just moments. You still have to get up the next morning and handle your business and go on. Even if your mouth tastes like regurgitated slime and your eyes are pasted together with cement.

I'm not where I want to be, but I'm within sight of it. I think with some hopping around and mad crazy writing tomorrow, I should be okay.

I also realize that one of the things that's going to need to be edited when/if this story gets done is the pacing, speed, and scene starting. For the purposes of wordcount, I'm sometimes starting scenes long before they need to be started, and I'm belaboring some things that don't bear belaboring under normal circumstances. Or at least not in one big two-thousand word clump.

This is why I'm making editing notes as I go along. It's easier to see these things now, before the dust gets kicked up and things get messy. It's weird how it's sometimes easier to see flaws in something just as I've written it rather than with the distance of time.

I could probably start the novel where I'm writing at this moment and with a few clever explanations start from there. But on the good side, it means that I can automatically deduct about 10,000 words from the total should it be too bloated.

But that's what all the months that aren't November are for.



The Devil's Workshop

13,144 / 50,000 (26.3%)

I made today's wordcount mostly by the skin of my teeth, and in case you hadn't noticed - teeth skin? Not much to do anything by.

In my defense, there was a time change (although I actually gained writing time) and it was Sunday. Still, at least I did it.

Of course, I have to keep reminding myself that it's okay for the first draft to suck on charcoal briquettes and that I just can make notes to myself to rework certain parts when I'm not under time pressure.

Besides, great novels are not written, they're edited. All the best books you've ever read you can thank some editor with a red pen and a hardy constitution for.

With any luck, I'll break 10,000 by tomorrow.

Anyone got any interesting playlists for their novels yet, I'd love to see them. Maybe tomorrow if I make my wordcount like a good little writer, I'll make one up and post it.



The Devil's Workshop

7,077 / 50,000 (14.2%)

The NaNoWriMo verified word counter has been shorting me by about a hundred for each word count. Which means when I reached 20,000 it actually had me back at 19,889.

So whatever my counter has now, add at least 100 to that.

Not that 100 words is that big of a deal, but when you want to make a big whoop about how you FINALLY got to the 20,000 mark and the word counter smacks you down and takes your glee? It's a big deal.

So I had to go and write more just to get to 20,000. Which I already had.

The counter says that it screws up in your favor, but shorting me a 100 words is not in my favor. Which means for NaNo to recognize me I actually need to write at least 50,100 words instead of 50,000 to get my little gold NaNo star.

The Zokotou counter was a little more generous to me.

It kind of bothers me that there's such a discrepancy between what Open Office, NaNoWriMo, Zokotou, and other word counters are telling me. Huh. Makes you wonder if they're actually counting the words or just averaging.

Which personally is a little irksome, because it means that you could, ostensibly, write every one of the 50,000 words you need and still get no credit for it because the damn counter screwed you.

*sigh*

I'll just have to make sure I've got enough left over so that it's not a problem.

52,711 / 50,000 (105.4%)

WOOHOO!

Content wise, I'm actually only *half* way through the plot (to chapter 6). I might hold off on posting anything else until the novel is finished.

I got some helpful feedback from captain_science last night on chapter three. I realize now that chapter three could actually be two or three chapters, because it's so long. In my head, the events all fit into one category, but I could subdivide them for easier reading without grief.

I'm going to try very hard to finish the CONTENT of the novel before Dec 21st (like doing Nano all over again!) and definitely going to try to have something that's done by the end of the year (I might get a day or so over Christmas to work on it).

I really like nanowrifa, it's been a great experience. I think it's something I'd do next year.

Also, I REALLY REALLY REALLY hope everyone continues doing theirs even after Nanowrifa is done.

k_kijo, you've been a great help, great commenter, and your story definitely has me wondering what's going to happen, especially with the amnesia guy and the guy who lost his son. Don't make me live in indefinite suspense.

fikgirl, I'm interested in your characters, and it's obvious that your story and your universe means a lot to you. So please, please, please - keep plugging at it. I don't care if it takes you ten minutes or ten years, I wanna see your stuff in my local Barnes & Noble - because it belongs there.

To the rest of nanowrifa, you've been great. Keep going, because I think novels are a worthy thing. I think the act of creativity, expression, storytelling, mythmaking, worldcreating and plain ol' playing pretend are not only their own rewards, but infinitely worth whatever we put in them.

I saw on the news where researchers have said that playing pretend in children is not only not bad, but very good. It's supposed to create problem solving skills, creativity. You know, brain stuff. Well, any writer who's ever worked through a personal issue using their writing can tell you that you don't have to be a child for this to be true.

I've lived a life shaped by other's creativity. By books, stories, cartoons, TV shows, movies, poems, fanfiction, artwork. And while I've never told the majority of these authors how much their work meant to me, either because I couldn't or just didn't, I like to think that it doesn't matter. I like to think that all artists who put their work into the world have an innately generous spirit, the kind of spirit that wants only to give something beautiful to others, even if praise doesn't seem forthcoming.

Keep writing. Keep putting it out there. Have the courage to deal with the rejections, and the soul crushing silences when there's no feedback, and the bad reviews. Have the courage to be there for the people like me who might not say it, but do love it, and do need it, and would be quite lost without it.

- Meg