megwrites

So, I thought that I was ready to send Revenant Blues off in a couple of weeks, once I got the finishing touches done.

I said to my Self, I said, "Self, this thing has been stretched and strained and revised. It's been injected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected and selected. Self, it's time to send this thing off."

And Self said, "The *hell* it is. For the love of cheesecake, woman. The point is to get an agent to represent you, not make them hurl the manuscript across the room. Have you looked at the exposition? Seriously. Read it. With your eyeballs."

And I said, "I have, thanks. It's ready. I can't revise this thing anymore."

So Self, ever snarky, said, "Of course you can't. You can't revise SUCK. It's pretty much an inert state of being from which nothing returns."

And I, looking at various practical matters said, "Self, I do not have time for this. It's ready."

Then Self said, "No, you got time. You just don't have guts. You really wanna know what the trouble with this thing is?"

I, rolling my eyes replied, "Sure. Enlighten me."

Self said, "You got all these banners and quotes that say how unafraid you are and how you're gonna do it your way. But 160,000 words later, you're still telling the story every which-a-way but your own. Dude, you gotta fight the power. Just say no. Spank your inner moppet."

I said, sounding a lot like Pete from O, Brother Where Art Thou: "That don't make no sense!"

Self said, "I'm not here to give you all the answers. I'm just letting you know that you need to do another draft, 'cause this one blows like the northern wind, baby. It's not the story you wanted to tell. Your story kinda rocked, but this story? This story doesn't even know what the rock is cooking."

I said, "You so need better metaphors."

Self said, "No I don't. You need another draft."

I said, groaning, "That will take months. Months! I do not want to wait another YEAR. I can spend another decade riding this pony, but at some point I either have to tinkle or get off the potty."

Self said, "And you said I needed better metaphors. Sheesh. You in a race or something? Okay, fine, so you spend a year or two or fifty trying to do your best. All I'm saying is this: you loved this story for a reason. And you stuck to it for a reason. And you revised and you researched and you stayed up late and you dreamed of it for a reason. So why half ass it now?"

I didn't have a reply there. Self, ever egotistical and Id-tastic, sauntered off to relax and wait until there was something interesting going, or you know, porn (THE INTARWEBS IZ FOR PR0N!).

There, I realized that Self was right. Revenant Blues is not near ready.

And I have the banner on my userinfo for a reason. Not because it looks pretty (it really doesn't), but because I made a promise to myself that I was going to do this thing. This writing thing. I was going to do it all-out, no-holds-barred, gloves-off, full-goose-bozo and hold nothing back.

Including another draft.

*sigh*

So here's me, trudge, trudge, trudge, trudging. Draft #4, here I come.

Am editing. Feels like drowning and discovering you're in the wrong ocean to begin with, but the mermaids are pretty. Also, treacherous.

Considering taking up an easier profession. Like moving the Great Lakes to Utah with a teaspoon and a ziploc bag. It could be rewarding. The people in Utah would probably love some new bodies of water.

Inspiration now entirely consists of looking at books that are crappy and reminding self that if that dipwad can get published, anyone can and researching agents and reminding self that eventually one of their other writers has to die or quit writing sometime, thus opening a spot.

Suspect exclusion from the subset of 'anyone'. Huh.

Back to editing. Will send up a flare after washing up on the shores of scary island known as Submissionland. Have heard tale that no one comes back alive.

1. I need about two or three trusty people to read over my novel and give me comments. Sort of like a beta-read. I realize this is a big thing to ask, and I realize that people have lives. But I would really appreciate it. I'm not looking for anything fancy. I'm just looking for someone who can read it and tell me where things are boring or slow or don't make sense and the like.

In essence, I just need to see this thing from the reader's eyes - and I can't think of any other way besides just asking a couple of people to be readers and tell me what they see.

If anyone else has a better suggestion, let me know. But I do need someone else to look at the novel and tell me what's going on. Because being the writer, I have big honkin' blindspots.


2. ( things I learned from writing a novel )