1. Jeff Vandermeer tells you how to figure out how old you are in writer years. Is it better to be really young or really old?


2. On the query front, the Query Score Card remains the same as it was the last time I reported in. However, it was a holiday weekend here in the U.S. and I really hope the agents I queried were out having a good time instead of stuck in their offices. Because I certainly wasn't writing, I was out getting sunburned.

Still, for those keeping track at home, the score card (as of 1100 EST) stands at:

Rejections - 2

Requests - 0

Still Pending - 14

Time Outs* - 0


I'm adding a new category to the score card because some of the queries are reaching their second week out with no response and my cut off time is six weeks. I figure after six weeks the agent is either not interested or so busy that even if they liked my project, they don't have time for me - which is fine. Agents should be focusing on their existing clients more than queries anyway.



3. I'd like to clear the air after having posted about the rude rejection I got last week. I want it known that I posted about it because it was such a shock. 99.999999% of the agents I've queried have been consummate professionals, very polite, and even really helpful.

So when one agent out of the 40 (ish) I've queried since April was so rude in his rejection, it really surprised me. That agent's colleagues had done such a good job at showing me just what wonderful people they are, after all.

I'm not bitter about it. If anything, I'm amused. I must have caught the Agent In Question on an abysmally bad day to get a response like that. So, onward and upward and all that.

I don't know that I'll be getting a lot of work done this week or next. I'm off to Florida to finish off the final details of my wedding and get things set right for October. Most of the work is already done, thank goodness.


4. I actually have a working title for my current project! UF!2Girls will now be known as: Soul Machines. I think that's snazzy, don't you? I was very pleased with myself for coming up with something that wasn't a cryptic assortment of words and numbers with an exclamation point thrown in. I can't come up with titles for beans.

5. I don't have a fifth thing. I'm going to go write about imaginary people now.

1. Over at Romancing the Blog, the always spectacular fashionista_35 has some great words about the late John Hughes and his wonderful movies. I can't believe he's gone. I loved Breakfast Club so, so much.

2. I think my query letter may need tweaking, so I've hesitated in sending out the second round of them for the Tower!Guy novel. I've been filling my head with sample queries from other sources and trying to analyze and glean what I can from them. I'm afraid that it's either too stripped down or that I'm not highlighting the best stuff from the novel.

I mean yeah, I got a couple of people interested in the full manuscript last time, but both those ended in rejection. Maybe it's the manuscript that sucks?

I wish there was a market-o-meter that would tell you whether it's you or whether it's just that it's slow going, nobody's buying, and agents are all looking for something else.

Nobody seems to want fantasy anymore. Plenty of people want the vampires and werewolves, but it seems like less and less agents are even bothering with fantasy. Also, I can't tell. Does my novel count as epic fantasy? I mean, there's no map and it's only 79,000 words.

But it has dragons, magic, a princess, a tower, and an empire in peril. No swords, elves, or farmboys though. Maybe it is epic fantasy? I don't know.

Anxiety is not fun, in case you're wondering. And I need to stop grinding my teeth. It's giving me very bad headaches and I'm running out of Aleve. Seriously, this is the second bottle I've had to buy in a month. This is getting ridiculous.

3. Work on the UF!2girls (damn I need better working titles) novel is halted while I deal with the submissions process. I'm worried that it sucks and that vampires are also passe now. On the other hand, I'm not sure how the endgame goes anyway, so maybe it's good to take time and let my brain ruminate on that. I've written 82,000 words in a month and a half. I think it's okay to take a break. I'm not slacking, I'm working on other things.

4. I think I may pick up the novel I wrote but didn't finish for NaNoWriMo 2008 and see if it's worth finishing and revising. I liked the setting, characters, and basic structure. But I'm also hearing that demons and angels are now cliche and people are tired of seeing them. This is why I need a market-o-meter.

5. I discovered the hyrax while doing research last night. It's so cute and I never knew it existed. I definitely have to use it somewhere in a novel sometime. Did you know it's closest relatives are elephants and manatees?

Evolutionary family trees in the animal kingdom are weird. Just sayin'.

I was taking a look at the Tower!Guy novel today, just to see if it looked any different to me after a few weeks of being put to bed. There are technical and grammar errors I'm better able to see, but characterization and structure are still the same to me. I don't have any major changes to make, only minor touch ups.

I'd still really love this novel to have a home, but it seems it's all dressed up with nowhere to go.

So I was contemplating: what about podcasting it? Or just putting it out there for free with a virtual tip jar? No, it's not publication, but this thing obviously isn't going to get published. Might as well see if I can make a few bucks off of it, heaven knows I could use the money right about now.

I thought I'd bounce the idea of the blogosphere and get opinions. Good idea? Bad? Worst idea ever?

Meanwhile, the writing of the UF!2Girls novel continues apace. I'm on the other side of 80k and about 2/3rds of the way through. I'm planning on having 120,000 words for the first draft, and being able to shave about 20-30k of those off, because I'd like to keep this novel as lean as it needs to be.

I have to say, I still love the thrill of writing a good story. Even if I'm the only one who ever reads it. Maybe I won't ever get published, but I still love doing this. I'm still glad I queried around and gave it the old college try.

I still love this. I think that's the important thing. I still love it deeply.

Project: UF!2Girls 3.0 (Still no viable title yet)

Wordcount: 27,797

Goal: 100,000 (approx.)

Deadline: July 31st

Reason For Stopping: Just reporting in. I'll get back to work right after I post this.

Exercise: None today.

Stimulants/Chemicals: None so far.

Musical Inspiration: Apply Some Pressure - Maximo Park; Killing for Love - Jose Gonzalez; Monster - The Automatic Automatic; The Way You Are - 46Bliss; The Round Dance of the Princesses - Stravinsky/Orchestra of the Kirov Opera; Dying Californian - Moira Smiley & Voco

Other Creative Activities: Nothing much

Reading Materials: Walls of the Universe - Paul Melko.

Darling du Jour: "The future is only for Heaven and the dead to know. I can tell you that you are important, and you must do well. Know that your enemies will wear many masks. Some will look like your friends. And some friends will look like enemies. I have learned this, above all else. You must always be in command. Even if it is only of yourself."

Mean Things: Trauma, vague unhelpful prophecies, attempted infanticide, attempted murder of a pregnant woman, being deprived of the ability to see or speak, rat-napping, impersonating the police, giving fake statements to fake police, being taunted about physical disfigurement, near-death experiences, being bitten by a rat

Things Learned/Discovered: Shifting POV is okay as long as you properly signal. Much like changing lanes or turning while driving. Put the blinker on, check your mirrors, and you're good to go.


*I promise I'm not turning into one of those people who post pretentiously obscure lyrics as inexplicable entry titles. It just seemed appropriate.

Project: UF!2Girls. I've gotta get a better title.

Wordcount: 8923

Goal: 100,000

Deadline: July

Reason For Stopping: Dinner and then reading/bedtime.

Exercise: An hour of aerobics and some light walking for errand running.

Stimulants/Chemicals: None

Musical Inspiration: Moira Smiley & Voco - Wondrous Love; Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Feel It Now

Other Creative Activities: None

Reading Materials: The Pretender's Crown by C.E. Murphy

Darling du Jour: Jane knuckles went white around the stapler she'd been fiddling with for the last five minutes. Lissa wondered if she was going to use it as a weapon. Not that it wouldn't be funny to see Jane chuck a flaming Swingline at this guy's head, but they needed the client.

Mean Things: Bad prophecies, old age, prejudices, racism, wife beating, manslaughter, impending doom.

Things Learned/Discovered: I must be getting better as a writer because I don't even have to wait for the next draft to know where and how I'm sucking on charcoal briquettes. But that's what edit notes are for. Just make a little reminder to myself at the top of the chapter about what I'd like to do when it comes time to fix things. I will fix this later after I make the story come out.

I spent Monday sick as a dog and wallowing, so that was fun, but now that I'm feeling well enough to stay upright, it's time to get back to business. Technically, I've only fallen down once. So according to the saying, I have at least seven more times to fall completely on my face! Joy!

This week's goals? Start on my new project. Have the outline done by Saturday, so I can start writing the first draft on Monday.

Also, I'm hoping to start reading a bit faster and get through a few of the things in my "to read" pile, since I'd like to be able to justify buying myself a book or two for my birthday without feeling bad that I wasted money that should go to groceries and medicine because I've still got a stack to the ceiling of books I'd like to read but haven't.

Although, in my defense, I did get through all the books I acquired last time at the Book Barn and then some. So it's not like those books will never get read, they just might sit on the shelf for a few weeks.

So, any recommendations for what I should buy are very, very welcome.

Since about Thursday, the creativity faucet got turned on high hot and all the way. Since Thursday I have:

1. Picked up speed (finally!) on the Tower!Guy Story revisions. I rocketed through the end of one chapter, and will probably be done with another by the end of the day, and see no reason I'm not going to zoom through the next chapter.

2. Painted a picture. Not sure if I should scan it in and share it with anyone as I'm still in the process of getting my bearing with acrylics, especially since I started out learning to paint with oils.

3. Exercised my photography muscles by taking a bunch of pictures of assorted things in the psuedo-garden behind my apartment building. The pictures of the rose are my favorite. Although, I sort of risked life and limb to get the pictures of the rose. Because it wasn't like the damn thing was right in front of me. It was actually on top of a big thorny bush that was taller than me. So I had to climb on top of a somewhat dodgy ceramic planter (never again will I go into a garden wearing neon green flip flops) and sort of stick the camera in there and eyeball it. Still, I think my photoggery has improved. Especially since I've got The Boy's ultra-sweet camera to do it with.

The funny part of this had nothing to do with the pictures, though. The funny part was when I was walking back to my apartment and overheard a conversation through an open window and didn't catch on at first.

You have to understand that this neighbor, who I'll call Ms. J, is a woman in her late-60's maybe 70's. She's very quiet, reserved, looks a bit mean, and perpetually lives in her Hawaiian-flower nightgown.

So I'm walking through the alley by the apartment and I hear her talking to her daughter, who's very loud, typically New York voice I recognize:

Ms. J's Daughter: So, tell me about Linda. What does she do?

Ms. J: (mumble mumble something I can't hear)...Scrabble.

Ms. J's Daughter: Oh, she plays Scrabble. But what does she do all day?

Ms. J: (mumble mumble, still can't hear)

Ms J's Daughter: Well, did she at least give you a shower? That's the best part, when they give you a shower.

Me: o_O. *eyebrow raise*

And my first thought was, Sweet moses on the mount, I didn't know Ms. J was a lesbian. And what the hell kind of kinky stuff is going on if her daughter is asking if her girlfriend gives her a bath? Privacy much?. (Yes, I realize the irony of thinking this as I'm eavesdropping, but the window was open, and this lady was loud and it's New York City).

I walked away, and then after a few minutes of thought, realized that they were actually talking about the home health nurse that Ms. J has, because Ms. J suffered an unfortunate fall and broke her hip last year.

4. Thought up a great new idea that would make a fantastic Fantasy/Romance/Mystery story. It includes such exciting elements as: Princes In Disguise! Hundreds of Virgins, None of Whom Actually Are! Intrigue! Swordfighting Women! Important Social Discourse! And most importantly: Surprise Buttsex! Not sure what I shall title it in my head. I'm sure by now anyone who's checked out my tags realizes that my working titles lack any kind of elegance.

5. Revised and refined the UF!2Girls project such that I think it might stand a chance of one day getting to reader for an opinion of whether it, too, deserves it's turn on the Submission Wheel.

6. Wrote three poems. Eventually I'll get around to posting them, probably. Maybe. I really hate f%^king poetry, you know that? Grr. Argh. *Finger monster*

7. Finished off one of my paper writing journals and started a new one. It's a cute little red Miquelrius notebook. Yes, yes, I know. It's supposed to be Moleskine or bust for us writery types, but honestly? Moleskines are nice, but overrated.

Right now, if I had to give a progress report/state of the union address (don't worry, you're not gonna miss Flipper*) regarding my writing, I'd have to say that I'm in the Spring Slump.

The Spring Slump is a time honored tradition. It's where, for some reason, usually in March/April my brain gets so full of pollen and brand new sunshine and extended daylight hours that it sort of futzes out. It's seasonally induced apathy towards just about everything. It started in school because this is around the time when you're ready for the semester to end and you feel like nothing counts until finals. I thought it would end with graduation, but it hasn't.

During the Spring Slump, I just cannot be arsed to get interested in anything and for about two or three weeks.

So while I'm waiting to reboot, I might as well take stock.

The UF!2Girls story is finished, and I'm starting to gather my editing notes together, but it still needs to sit fallow for a few more weeks. Judging when I'm ready to work on a story for the next draft is about like judging when wine has fermented enough. Except, you know, winemakers have training and years of passed down knowledge. I might as well be using a magic 8-Ball. I'm still in a love/hate holding pattern.

The Tower!Guy story is screaming for better editing, and I think I've finally figured out what it is that's fundamentally wrong with the story. At the time I wrote it, I think my reach far exceeded my grasp. The themes and principles and ideas are good, but I wasn't ready for it yet. Also? I realize that having a fundamental plot point be "Character A teaches Character B compassion" is a ticket to ride the failboat. That's an arc, a theme, a character development. It is not a plot point. Plot points have to have things happening.

Not to mention that I'm finally learning to be comfortable with my characters maybe being less than compassionate, less than understanding. You can be a coldhearted bastard and still the good guy. Not to mention that it's all right to let a character leave the story with the same flaws they've always had. Not everyone has to be perfect by story's end. Sometimes, it's better if they're even worse.

The other hold up is that I'm still learning how to edit. I can write to schedule, I can set down a number and say "by hook or by crook, two thousand words get put down today" and achieve that. I'm not entirely sure how to parcel out editing tasks to myself, or how to measure progress. Right now, it helps to go in layers rather than by chapters. So I make one pass for spelling, grammar, and mechanical errors. Then another for continuity. Then another for plot. Then another for characterization and dialog. Then another for over all arc.

The Queenmaker story is out of order, still spread across two paper journals and four different versions of my outlines with random exerpts written as they come for me. I don't know if I've committed myself to it or not as a real project. There are monkeys, a wonderfully queer monkey who hits on priests, and the wise daughters of said monkey. There's also literal use of the phrase, "Jesus Christ, it's a lion!", because, well, there's a lion. There's also a heated debate about whether the queer monkey tried to sell the heroine of the story for a banana or a plantain, because those are two entirely separate crimes. There are dragons and old lady pirates. So, I like it, but I just don't know. I thought the same dazzling things of other stories and now realize that they're complete crap.

I feel like that scene in I, Robot where Will Smith tells the cat, "You're a cat, I'm black and I'm not going to be hurt again."

Except then the bulldozer tries to kill them and Will Smith has to save the cat and ends up with a wet, angry cat clinging to him after nearly getting bulldozed.

Maybe that wasn't the metaphor I was looking for after all.

As for Revenant Blues - that isn't even the title anymore. But it's the working description and the filename. It's now gone completely off the rails and characters are coming and going like it's Grand Central up in here. I'd love to put it to bed and say it's a failed but noble experiment in learning how to write. But this is the story that refuses to be shaken. I think I know how the bulls feel when the cowboy just won't fall off.

(*)Several internets to anyone who gets the reference.

The problem with writing very educated, learned characters is that you actually need to be very educated and learned yourself or at least go out and get a mini-education via wikipedia and a few smart friends. Especially if you need said characters to talk about very high brow things, even if it's in the back ground.


The current novel I'm working on is going at, like, lightspeed. This is because my job goes in boom and bust. Sometimes I'm so busy I can't breathe, sometimes I have nothing to do for days. During slow periods, I no longer go looking for work (they want me, they damn well know where my desk is), instead, I write.

And you'd be surprised how much writing you do when you have nothing else around you that's even remotely appealing to do. I can't even piddle on LiveJournal at work. So, it's just me and Google Docs and my intense desire to not be there.

Want to write a lot very fast? Go sit in a room with nothing in it but you, some paper, and a pen. You'll write like a frickin' jackrabbit. It might be crap, but it'll be the Speedy Gonzalez of crap.


This time around, I'm making my life easier. I'm doing a bit of editing as I go. I'm making notes in places that I know can but cut for length or places that I know, as I'm writing, that they're crap and need to be fixed but I'm not at all sure how to fix them right now and they just need to get *done*.

Hopefully it will make revision less painful and slow than it is with the Tower!Guy story, which is nearly stalled because I need a big block of uninterrupted free time to sit down with the story and I just don't have that right now.


I should do some more book reports soon. I've finished another batch of books and, well: My opinions. Let me show you them.